Sunday, October 22, 2006 ; 1:46 PM
i know im not supposed to be blogging, but im feeling really upset about something. a couple of days back, his msn nickname was "st0ryofpiglets <3 yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift thats why its called present" and i guessed he had moved on with life, now with a new girl. believe i shared that with melody and colin. which explains all the vulgarity in one of my previous posts. all the anger, jealousy, everything. you name it.
then a couple of days later, whilst on the phone with jon, i just suddenly gasped in horror. because there was this "ahh ! dont tell me he is with that girl, nicole !" kind of thing. true enough, there is a slight addition to his msn nickname today. that is "st0ryofpiglets <3 nic yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift thats why its called present" so i guess all my suspicions are now unfortunately, confirmed.
it pains to know that he is now with another girl, within such a short period of time. and what hurts even more is that i know this girl. and i hated her a very long time ago. even got into a heated arguement with her once. to think that he is now with her ? like wow, what a coincidence. really. or maybe it was all fated that she would be my rival, in every aspect of my life.
i just told jon about this. and he replied with "sis, dont think about it. there are so many much better people who deserve you so much more" thank you bro. youre right. i definitely deserve someone better. why hold on to an asshole who doesnt even cherish me for nuts ? but then again, like sher says, love is blind. so blind.
and now i begin to feel as though true love doesnt exist, at least at my age. but age really is just a number. whats more important is the level of maturity. oh heck it. its not like im getting involved again with another guy at this point in my life. im so sick of all their bullshit, all their lies, all their excuses. thats also the reason why i hate promises from guys. because, one day, it will be broken !
so fuck all guys out there.
seriously, FUCK YOU. :)
i dont know how come some people just take relationships so lightly. i admit i was very guilty of that. i never actually took all these seriously. even played with some guys. (maybe this is my retribution ?) right now, i feel that a relationship requires a lot of commitment. before you even enter one, think about it. why are you getting involved ? are you even willing to settle down with your significant other for the rest of your life, or are you just fooling around ? if you are really all that serious, i say go for it.
otherwise, just get a fucking life for goodness sake. even if you dont think about yourself, think for the opposite party. imagine how much pain you can bring to that person when you leave that person. can you promise yourself you will never leave him/her ? you, claiming that you love him/her, really wanna hurt that person badly ? (that is, if you already know the outcome of the relationship)
i dont know. maybe its true. we teenagers really know nothing about love. face it. i never actually believed the people who said all these, in the past. now its just, so true. so very true.
what is love ? someone educate me please. :)
alright enough said. now its time to drown my sorrows in my studies ? hahaha that sounds funny. but ohwells. life goes on no matter what right ? yes yes. dont think too much denise. WRINKLES ! AHHH.
