Tuesday, October 31, 2006 ; 8:42 PM
happen to chance upon someone's blog. wont reveal her name here. but if she happens to read this, im very certain she will know it is her blog i read.
just as much as my heart was thumping whilst reading, i somehow managed to keep my cool on the chair. my mind is so filled with many things at present, but one thing thats for sure.
he is a jerk. no wait, many of my friends have already called him that, even before this. haha. but after i read that particular entry, i more or less can tell what kind of guy he is. how naive i was, to believe those sweet nothings. how foolish i was, not to safe guard my heart. but then again, maybe it is a blessing in disguise to know it, although the hard truth always hurts. in fact, i feel like confronting this girl.
i want to know the whole truth. doesnt matter how harsh it may be. i rather know it than to be kept in the dark. and if you think it is better for me not to know, think again. problem is, i dont have her number. neither do i have her email. ohmyword. ahhwells. well girl, if youre reading this, add me on msn.
scream-outloud@hotmail.com. thankyou.
ahh and colin is the first person to know about this. he just went "arent you so happy you arent with him ?" LMAO. yes, as a matter of fact, i am glad. seriously. haha. thanks coocoo ! first smile after reading that entry. oh yeah.
i dont believe i cant let go of this jerk now. :)
from now onwards, i will live to the hilt. i will show you that im really not as weak as you think i am. even if i fall down, i will step up again. i definitely will.
i will succeed. watch me.
oh. please please, dont let me catch you on the street. your balls will suffer. :D or worse, dont let me see you in a stationary shop. i will just grab a pair of scissors and have you castrated the next moment. and no, dont blame me for being violent. you asked for it.
say it loudly, and proudly,
FUCK YOU.hahahahahaha. :D
; 3:51 PM
how quick time flies. once again, we are at the end of the month. and today, we sat for our chemistry olevel practicals. :)
must say the paper was very much easier than expected. especially since we were mislead at shab's blog. honestly if the titration in june 1987 came out this year, i would have literally screwed my entire practical.
really wonder what the exact answer is. i got 24.8 for my titration result. but many got 25.0, or even more, so i really aint too sure what the correct answer is. cel's answer (24.9) is closest to mine though. :D
sigh.
i really have so many questions in my mind. i know i shouldnt be thinking about all these now, at this point in time. like right smack in the midst of my olevels. but i just cant help it. its only when daniel mentioned it, that i realised its so true. is it me or do i really see a drastic change in you ? or maybe this is your true colour, and i was too blind to see.and thanks melody. for some of your time yesterday night. thanks pal, love ya. :)
Monday, October 30, 2006 ; 4:33 PM
am blog surfing. came across this at melissa's blog.
LOL.
; 1:31 PM
happy birthday sher (hardo turtle) ! :D
the re-take of olevels chinese paper was disastrous, i swear. probably am gonna do worse for it. which is, lower than an effing c5. so too bad for me.
was actually feeling all worked up earlier on. daddy pissed the
fucking hell outta me. i cant understand why he has to be so
fucking unreasonable. :(
he just had to bring up the
fucking topic about studies, once again. and it really gets on my nerves when all my parents can say is study, study and study. the moment they open their
fucking mouth, the
fucking word study comes out. and it seems to me that that really is all they
fucking care about. my
fucking studies. my
fucking academic grades. my
fucking olevel certificate. dont they care about my personal well-being ? im still
fucking upset over that
fucking asshole, jeffrey. i know he is so not worth it, but he just floats around in my mind all the time. i miss him so
fucking badly still. and that
fucking pisses me off too. yes, the fact that im not strong enough to get over a guy. come on, he is just a
guy. what the hell is wrong with me ?
that reminds me. last night i prayed to God to have him off my mind, and the Lord really did answer my prayer. i stopped thinking about him and i fell asleep, slightly before midnight. :) so prayers do work. keep praying y'll. especially when in times of need. i think most of us really need Him to guide us through our olevels. calm us down so that we can all focus and have the clarity of mind to do the paper well and glorify His name. and now i feel im preaching. ohmygoodness.
back to the conversation between daddy and myself. so then it diverted over to the
fucking course i would be taking in the polytechnic. and that got me even more pissed off. because he
fucking speaks as though i
do-die-MUST select the
fucking course he advices me to take. and if i dont, he will give me hell. what kinda shit is this ? dont i have the freedom of choice ? furthermore, im the type who enjoys freedom. i cannot tolerate all the
fucking rules and regulations. its like a stupid restriction which we have to follow only because of the authorities. but then again, without them, it would be rather chaotic.
ahh whatever.
and i got this from coocoo;
An orgasm is nothing more than a reflex that sounds and looks no different from a minor asthma attack.
really ? O.O
Sunday, October 29, 2006 ; 10:34 AM
its strange. i dreamt of him again. cant remember it in detail, but both dreams are about the same. its a conversation. something is so wrong. is the Lord trying to put a message across to me ? it makes me wonder. ohwells.
had this really funny conversation with eugene last night. stupid kor. but it made me laugh. he is always so full of shit. anyway here it goes !
eugene : im going to thailand. hope everything is alright there.
denise : haha i hope the terrorists there turn gay, kidnap you and rape you. :D
eugene : .. WTF lol, you sick sick person.
denise : am not being sick. just a little open minded by nature. :O
eugene : dirty minded you mean, sure you arent a guy ?
denise : yeah maybe i am. i might have a dick ! :)
eugene : id go fetch my microscope, id need it to see.
denise : haha shuddup. dont insult my lil dickson !
eugene : you even gave it a name ? rofl.
denise : yeah. but sshh, keep it a secret, between you and me ! :D
eugene : like hell i will, its gonna be in the straits times tomorrow.
denise : noo ! dickson is shy. if you do that, he will just dislocate himself and jump off the building ! :O
eugene : lmao. what a wild imagination.
(p.s; my words arent exactly the same. its based on my memory. i deleted my sent messages already)
and here is a picture of dickson !
yes yes, my middle finger. LOL. :D
posting this makes me feel so retarhded. but heck.
and here is a song. its rather old, i would say. but listening it last night on zennie struck me. perhaps because i can relate to it. :(
enjoy.
"Speechless"
by The Veronicas
Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you
I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you
You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby
You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you
dont really listen to these slow songs actually. :)
Saturday, October 28, 2006 ; 5:59 PM
eugene is now trying to persuade me into playing world of warcraft.
http://www.apple.com/games/trailers/worldofwarcraft/trailer480.htmlcan you imagine a girl like me playing that game ? especially when many of the characters would most probably give me a nightmare. :(
oh dear me. but no doubt the graphics are nice. and only the female character which turns into a panther is fine with me. others just turn me off.
try harder, kor.
; 2:53 PM
just got back from tuition, and it was as usual hilarious. sean koh's stupidity made me laugh so hard that i teared. haha. would you believe it ? he has been working on his relative velocity for the past i dont know how many donkey years and has now forgotten how to find the inverse of a matrix. haha silly one. ohwells. and i just received an email from nicole. (its not jeffrey's current girlfriend, in case some of you are confused. and speaking of jeffrey, i had a dream about him last night. sheesh this is bad)
so check it out !
Does your name begin with: A
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints and you never pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, and not very emotional. Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while - it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun and everything you seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate and very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out fo r yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with a passion for life.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: I
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated or even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling and exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your de sires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relation ships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requ iring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy. A good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: T
You are very sensitive, private and sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights and romantic thoughts. You fantasize and tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life!
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: U
You are enthusiastic and at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer and needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts and looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: V
You are individualistic and you need freedom, space and excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Y
You are sensual and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating and romantic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have u nusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.
---------------------------------
i deleted off the month and horoscope section though.
you think yours is true ? :)
Friday, October 27, 2006 ; 6:00 PM
happy birthday to me ! :D
okay, so now that im officially sixteen, i can walk into theatres openly. for nc16 movies that is. and not forgetting, certain clubs. no need for sneaking in anymore. so be jealous, those under sixteen. :)
a year older, and more matured. definitely.
here is a list of people who wished me happy birthday (or gave me a present); its more or less in order of who wished me first to last. haha yeah.
1. eugene ! - thanks kor ! for keeping me accompany all the way from 8.45pm - 12.00mdn, even though you loathe smsing. haha love ya ! :)
2. daniel & charmaine - cant believe they wished me together. makes me wonder if theyre dating or something. must admit im rather desperate for my very first sister in law. haha.
3. meryl
4. colin
5. jinhui
6. gina
7. devester
8. justine
9. mommy
10. li yan
11. melody
12. popo
13. dave
13. enggie
14. kelsie
15. zhiwai
16. grace
17. jacinth
18. yuwei
19. wilder
20. aaron
21. yiting
22. justin
23. huiling
24. daddy
25. sam
26. mansheel
27. carmen
28. sherman
29. christina
30. yufang
31. diane
32. yeeyee
33. yihui
34. shanice
35. yunxiang
36. sengweng
37. hennie
38. cherie
39. mama
40. jonathan
41. jiahuang
42. annabelle
43. yirong
44. kongkong
45. clarissa
46. jamie
47. hiro
48. charis
49. choy yoke
50. jun ming
51. weiyong
52. yinhui
53. melissa
54. sheril
55. valerie
56. valerie
57. teck chaw
58. chunhou
59. regina
60. ryoma
61. shabana
and the list goes on. (excluding those i dont know)
a big thankyou to all of you ! its very much appreciated. haha yeah. :D
and check this website out.
http://kwayka-works.blogspot.com/ its charis's friend's friend. she makes earrings and sells them over the internet. mainly for girls. but i guess guys with piercings can check it out too. LOL.
im off ! :D
psst; my birthday cake looks gorgeous. i swear. :)
Thursday, October 26, 2006 ; 10:04 PM
was replying regina's testimonial on friendster when curious me decided to open and read the daily horoscope for myself today. and it says;
"End a bad habit -- pat yourself on the back as you take a step in a new direction!"
is that a sign for me, telling me that its time to put a stop of thinking about him and move on ? i hope i will succeed soon. i know im improving. :)
really wonder why he chose a girl like her. she was such an unreasonable bitch the very first time i actually bumped into her. and i dont tolerate rudeness. so at that point in time, it was to hell with her. why her, why her. i really wonder. ohwells. whatever. up to him. up to them. its his life. its their life. :) nods.
; 4:30 PM
happy birthday weikang ! :D
you stupid ticopek. how dare you call me auntie even when i wished you a happy birthday this morning. rarhh.
gasp. it was the olevels pure physics practical today ! thankfully the paper was more or less manageable. even though one of the experiments was totally brand new to us all. and i seriously mean new. none of my friends (both in mgs and out of) expected something like that sort. neither have they tried doing such an experiment. but the other experiment, on the other hand, was easy. really. so thank God ! :) i just hope i do relatively well, because i aint too good with the theory part. yeah.
grace says channing tatum is acting in one of the upcoming movies. so we shall catch the movie together, after the olevels. but grace, do bear in mind that he is
MINE. and one of the ten commandments are
thou shall not steal. right ? :D and omgawd, she sent me the super hot picture of channing to my phone again today. via bluetooth. yay ! thanks grace ! now he is on my wallpaper. like duh, which girl wouldnt put her boyfriends picture on her wallpaper ? LOL.
omg omg omg. channing ! you will replace jeffrey in my heart ! :) hahaha. channing is seriously so hot. his body is, to die for. so so hot. omg. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. so hot. he is driving me nuts ! i swear !
MY BABY TAAT ! :D
oh and jiahuang wished me a happy birthday in advance. LOL okay, uhm, thanks. now everyone ! remember to wish me a happy birthday tomorrow. :D :D :D IM FINALLY TURNING SWEET SIXTEEN ! - grins. meaning i can watch nc16 shows
legally ! yeahh. and poor melody, justine and jacinth cant watch with meryl and i after the olevels. aww. hahahaha.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 ; 4:32 PM
solid evidence to support my hypothesis that men, in general, are destructive and violent by nature.
taah-daah !
p.s; that can of lemon barley, which originally belonged to me, was squashed up by mr colin tan. :) below !
GASP GASP. who knew a guy like him would get all barbaric and treat a helpless can like that ?!
nahhs, i was just kidding. no offence taken yeah.
sigh im so effing bored right now. dont feel like studying, dont feel like playing either. so i decided to just blog some shit out. :) after all, blogging relieves stress. and at present, li yan is sending me some songs from sick puppies. i have absolutely no idea whats so great about them, in comparison to breaking benjamin. my favourite band of the year.
and i came to a conclusion that today would be considered as a happy happy day. :D three reasons which made my day, and two reasons which lead to negative effects. (that sounded strange, but nevermind) lets start off with the bad points. good things must always be kept for the last. xian ku hou tian. yes yes. something like that.
BAD STUFF1. daniel was mean to me this morning !
like suuper. i cant believe he would actually sacrifice for charmaine and not for his dear sister. grr, so nasty of him. read our conversation.
denise : hey, where are you going ?
daniel : uh out ? play lan with hakim they all.
denise : oh okay. which is like, where ?
daniel : ginza plaza lah.
denise : huh. okay. so you walking to the mrt ?
daniel : yeah.
denise : good. wait for me then. im going to the mrt too.
daniel : but im leaving soon.
denise : what time ?
daniel : probably about 8.20am.
denise : so early ? aye wait for me until 9.30am lah.
daniel : no.
denise : meanie.
then while having breakfast, i noticed daniel was on the phone. so being his kaypoh sister, i asked who was on the phone, although the answer was obvious enough.
oh wait. speak of the devil ! daniel is back.
and omg omg omg, he is drenched. with all the rain water flattening his spikey hair. eew. whats worse, he just told me who he actually went out with. grr idiot. he lied to me.
whatever. next !
2. jeffrey
yeah, still feeling all upset over this useless guy. maybe not useless, but he so isnt worth it at all. and i know that. ohwells. so i posted back the handphone chain he gave. aint too sure if it would reach him, thus i left my address on the envelope before dropping it into the box. re-wrote it in ink. initially i had it written with invisible pen. haha how creative of myself. now praise me ! but i was really afraid the item wont get posted. and if it doesnt, i would rather it gets back to me, than it sort of getting missing forever. yeah.
the amazing thing is, i saw someone today who reminded me of him. very much. but that guy looked nerdier, and more of the good boy type. blah. heck. next.
GOOD STUFF1. i got my birthday present from colin today !
haha actually its more of a special request as a birthday present. finally he agreed to take neoprints with me. :) yay ! i love neoprints. i seriously dislike taking photos with the handphone camera. reason being that once your phone gets trade in, all the memories would be gone. and no more ! and my memory really is failing on me. sometimes i cant even recall how some of my friends look like. haha imagine that. so yes, neoprints. they make me happy. thanks coocoo !
2. i just found out that my olevels schedule isnt all that bad after all ! when i first got it, i was actually whining about why my olevels end so late and so on. but after knowing that colin's ends like, 5 days later, im pleased. very. :) and i cant wait till the olevels are over. its like, oh my goodness, freedom ! then it will be time to fulfil my wishlist. like going to vivocity, having a chalet at sentosa, movie marathon, sleepovers, and maybe a drinking session until we all get drunk. haha. oh dear, this is getting me excited !
3. i have improved !
as in, last night, i coincidentally entered my parents room while they were watching the korean drama stairway to heaven again. then it was the scene where sangwoo broke open his necklace and placed her necklace inside it before clipping it back. at that point, i just remembered jeffrey. because he told me once that he bought that set of necklace for himself and his ex girlfriend, which is now burried somewhere in pasir ris. yeah. and the thing is, even after going back to my own room, i didnt shed a single droplet of tear. :D though the sadness is still there. but, improvement ! really. and i felt so proud of myself. like yay ! accomplished a little at least. and this little bit before the olevels is good enough. least i dont need to worry about getting emo. which i so totally detest. i would rather have myself feeling bright and cheery everyday. and this really is the thing which made my day today.
no matter how bad things get, just keep looking at the positive side of it. even though my dad disagrees, for a stupid reason.
alright im off. have blogged quite alot today. till then !
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 ; 5:02 PM
so much so for hiatus. im still blogging everyday. bleah.
after lunch, mommy and i decided to reward ourselves with haagen daaz ice cream. i swear i have like four tubs inside the freezer. possibly one each for mom, dad, daniel and myself. whilst eating, we had a little conversation.
mom : you have a unique style of eating your ice cream.
me : likewise for yourself.
mom : haha yeah. why do you like to scrape your ice cream and make it all flat ? you should learn from me. (p.s; she uses the spoon and scoops the ice cream until its so effing rounded, just like a ball)
me : uh, because i like balances ? maybe i should have been born as a libra instead.
mom : haha true. no wonder im an all-rounder.
at that moment, my jaw just literally dropped. then the laughter came in. self praise is really no praise mother. learn that. :)
sigh knowing that he is with her really irks me. why her ? ohwells. at least i got my boyfriend here with me, channing tatum. :D
oh and mommy got my singtel gprs fixed ! yeahh ! finally managed to send the pictures i took with daniel onto the computer. :)
Monday, October 23, 2006 ; 3:32 PM
dont think it sank into me yesterday that he is now attached with another girl. i feel the pain very much more today, especially after yuwei double confirmed it. very painful. is it just me or does it really feel as though the heart was being pierced through ? that sharp pain. its killing me. i feel like crying, but im still suppressing it. i mean, i shouldnt be crying for a jerk, right ? and its not just that pain. that uncomfortable feeling that he is with someone else, its just so horrible that i actually puked my lunch out. LOL. laugh at my stupidity.
Sunday, October 22, 2006 ; 1:46 PM
i know im not supposed to be blogging, but im feeling really upset about something. a couple of days back, his msn nickname was "st0ryofpiglets <3 yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift thats why its called present" and i guessed he had moved on with life, now with a new girl. believe i shared that with melody and colin. which explains all the vulgarity in one of my previous posts. all the anger, jealousy, everything. you name it.
then a couple of days later, whilst on the phone with jon, i just suddenly gasped in horror. because there was this "ahh ! dont tell me he is with that girl, nicole !" kind of thing. true enough, there is a slight addition to his msn nickname today. that is "st0ryofpiglets <3 nic yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift thats why its called present" so i guess all my suspicions are now unfortunately, confirmed.
it pains to know that he is now with another girl, within such a short period of time. and what hurts even more is that i know this girl. and i hated her a very long time ago. even got into a heated arguement with her once. to think that he is now with her ? like wow, what a coincidence. really. or maybe it was all fated that she would be my rival, in every aspect of my life.
i just told jon about this. and he replied with "sis, dont think about it. there are so many much better people who deserve you so much more" thank you bro. youre right. i definitely deserve someone better. why hold on to an asshole who doesnt even cherish me for nuts ? but then again, like sher says, love is blind. so blind.
and now i begin to feel as though true love doesnt exist, at least at my age. but age really is just a number. whats more important is the level of maturity. oh heck it. its not like im getting involved again with another guy at this point in my life. im so sick of all their bullshit, all their lies, all their excuses. thats also the reason why i hate promises from guys. because, one day, it will be broken !
so fuck all guys out there.
seriously, FUCK YOU. :)
i dont know how come some people just take relationships so lightly. i admit i was very guilty of that. i never actually took all these seriously. even played with some guys. (maybe this is my retribution ?) right now, i feel that a relationship requires a lot of commitment. before you even enter one, think about it. why are you getting involved ? are you even willing to settle down with your significant other for the rest of your life, or are you just fooling around ? if you are really all that serious, i say go for it.
otherwise, just get a fucking life for goodness sake. even if you dont think about yourself, think for the opposite party. imagine how much pain you can bring to that person when you leave that person. can you promise yourself you will never leave him/her ? you, claiming that you love him/her, really wanna hurt that person badly ? (that is, if you already know the outcome of the relationship)
i dont know. maybe its true. we teenagers really know nothing about love. face it. i never actually believed the people who said all these, in the past. now its just, so true. so very true.
what is love ? someone educate me please. :)
alright enough said. now its time to drown my sorrows in my studies ? hahaha that sounds funny. but ohwells. life goes on no matter what right ? yes yes. dont think too much denise. WRINKLES ! AHHH.
Saturday, October 21, 2006 ; 2:43 PM
last post and this blog will be going on HIATUS ! :D reason being that the olevels are
seriously drawing near. i need to
get a grip of myself and
mug my ass out. yes yes. now wake up denise.
olevels are here ! criesssss.
so anyway today has been
great so far. only thing that has stopped it from being perfect would be him. but thats okay.
great is good enough. :) i ought to
be thankful for what i have, instead of being an ingrate whining on and on about how terrible life is,
never feeling satisfied with what i have.
look at the positives !
went to suntec city for lunch,
shopping and make my new spectacles ! so yayness now daniel and i have the
same design ! only difference would be its colour. his is blue & black and mine is red & black. :D its
half-framed. rather similar to the hot pink and white one which i got in the past. but this one is definitely way thinner. yupps.
wanted to get the
frameless ones. you know those really huge frameless ones. the size of which old uncles and aunties wear ? uh-huh. i was very much tempted to try those for awhile. and i look
really toot in it, which i think is
cute and sort of a
new look. but everyone there
disagreed to it. they insisted that i bought those with smaller lens at least.
the only thing which
totally cut the idea off was my mom's comment. she was like "you know wearing these make your pimples and horrible skin complexion more obvious ?" i was like, WHATTT ?
OUCH. she didnt have to be so straight-forward. but i guess that was the only way to stop me from getting those spectacles. ohwells. :)
there was another design which i didnt mind either. its those
thick black plastic ones with
bright yellow on the inside. that one just caught my sight. but im really
sick of black plastic ones. in addition, i think quite alot of people wear them.
its not my style to follow the trend. :) plus plus, i used to wear thick black plastic ones too. probably about a year ago. with white butterflies on the side.
thankfully my degree has
yet to increase. so i can now
alternate between the new one and the previous one (which is the black and red one, with green, blue, orange, white stripes on the inside) those of you who have seen it would understand what im trying to say. haha yeah. :D
whilst waiting for the spectacles to get done, we went to eat sushi at
ichiban boshi. its seriously
the best sushi bar you can ever find in the whole of singapore. :D even better than sakae sushi. i really dont understand what the whole
craze on sakae is about, when
the standard isnt half as good as the sushi in ichiban boshi. especially when the prices are more or less the same.
and then with the remaining time, mommy and i went to
topshop to
shop ! :) thats
my favourite store.
dorothy perkins is second ! haha yeah. and if i have not mistaken, both are linked with each other. so anyway, i bought this long
grey blouse while mommy got this
black and blue dress. hers cost $99 while mine cost $66 only. see the
huge difference in the price ? tsk. mommy is so spendthrift. but anyway that totalled up to $165 and so we applied for membership.
im
really satisfied with this blouse. i mean, its just nice, together with the
black beaded necklace i got from far east plaza the other day. wonderful, simply wonderful. problem though is what to wear as the bottom. black pants ? jeans or three quarters denim ? hmm aint too sure about that. because i
never like wearing pants or shorts. :)
dont you think wearing pants or shorts is like having a stupid piece of material
stuck in between your thighs ? okay, at least
i do. and so i stick to my skirts. jeans are fine though. and im not against track pants. but shorts ! oh nonono, i would
never wear them unless i have to do so. you can only find 2 pairs of shorts in my wardrobe. one
fbts and the other my
school pe shorts. :D
actually, i thought of wearing that long blouse
as a dress. after all, its long enough and baggy for me. i could always wear a
belt and treat it as a dress. like what i did to my other black one from topshop as well. problem though is the material is rather thin. its not the translucent type, but if you press it against your skin,
you can see through it.
and imagine if i happen to pull the blouse at my hips there. GASP then
the colour of my panties can be seen ! hahahaha.
but its not like nobody knows i wear black panties.
only black silkish ones. :) heh heh. okay, i do have other colours too. like red, lime green & white striped, hot pink. but majority of it is black.
i love blackkkkk ! :D
who doesnt ? oh c'mon.
shall end here. once again, let me remind you that
this blog will now go on HIATUS ! but dont worry,
i will be back from 16nov onwards.
until my japan trip, then i will go on hiatus again for about 6 days and then i come back, blog blog blog,
until i go for my vietnam trip, then i will go on hiatus again for about 3 days and then i come back, blog blog blog. LOL.
bye all !
DONT MISS ME TOO MUCH YEAH. (
i know you will) :D whee ! and continue tagging me ! i dont want my tagboard to be dead. RARHH.
Friday, October 20, 2006 ; 9:10 PM
okay, i just watched She's The Man. bought the vcd about two weeks ago. havent watched it until now. (the hardworking denise has been mugging lah. hahaha yeah right) neither did i catch the movie in theatres. so im really all new to the show. and guess what ? CHANNING TATUM CAUGHT MY EYE. :D
OMG HE IS SO DAMN BLOODY HOT CAN. just look at his body ! he has seriously got it all. he made me go all goo-goo-gahh-gahh ! :) so immediately after the show ended, i came onto the computer to search for his pictures. hahaha. he looks so gorgeous. he is even on my msn display picture now.
<3
<3
<3
CHANNING TATUM, MY NEW LOVE ! :D
maybe he might be able to help me get over jeffrey. hahahaha. CHANNING TATUM ! CHANNING TATUM ! CHANNING TATUM ! <3 OMG OMG OMG. YOURE SO HOT. I LOVE YOU CHANNING ! now what shall i nickname my new boyfriend ? TAAA-ATTT ! that shall be it. :) heehee.
; 5:10 PM
ting left for thailand just this morning. and she sent me a really sweet message just before she went off. :D actually, i believe she sent us all. or at least coocoo received one too. will miss her while she is having her fun ! argh, this is so unfair. i have to mug my ass off while she goes for retail therapy everyday ! pfft. ohwells, someday she too will suffer. GRINS.
so last night we conferenced for awhile, until about 1 am, then all of us hung up, while i called jon. because i couldnt sleep and he was going to work on his project overnight. then we chatted for another half an hour, before his sister needed to use the phone. after which, i dazed at the ceiling for another hour before i actually managed to sleep. hmm yeah.
still missing him. trying not to do so though. but you know, when youre all alone in the dark, and having felt disturbed the whole afternoon about something in particular, that thing would just naturally surface to your mind and once again the rest would be self explanatory. :) much thanks to those who tagged a word of comfort. its put a smile on my face. appreciated.
now unhappy things aside. uh this morning i went to meet colin again at the library. AND OMG. MANSHEEL KAUR GILL. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ? DID YOU KNOW I WENT LOOKING FOR YOU, ALL OVER THE LIBRARY FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES ? RARHH. i really wanted kaypoh and see how you and your sister's ex boyfriend would be like, studying together.
then after the fifteen minutes, i gave up and went for lunch. haha. and lunch time was super funny. the only time when i actually laughed straight from the heart. yeah. :) thanks coocoo ! and thats because we had this little conversation.
denise : i really dont like xxx (one of my brother's friend. shall not reveal his name here because li yan or jun ming might just come along and read my blog. not like xxx doesnt know i detest him, but well, its just not very nice to exclaim it out in public yeah)
colin : why ?
denise : cos he keeps calling my brother and it gets very annoying when im using the phone. * narrates a story as evidence *
colin : ohh. uh huh.
denise : yeah and its not like they are gays right ? * pokes the fork into one of the cheese fries and lifts it up, bringing it closer to my mouth *
colin : well maybe !
and at that point in time, the cheese fry literally dropped off my fork and tumbled down my blouse before hitting the tray. then we both burst out laughing. therefore, the morale of the story is NEVER TALK WHILE YOURE EATING ! hahaha. :D :D :D
then we shared a joke each.
coocoo's jokethere is this hunter who lives in the jungle. one day when he was bathing, the monkey appeared from the top and began laughing. why ?
answer : the monkey was wondering why the man had his tail grown in the front, and not the back ! :D LOL. so sad, my guess was wrong. i thought it was because the monkey was laughing when he saw that the banana was deformed as it had two extra balls. blah.
but anyway, here is mine.
there is a renowned hunter who was given a task to kill this gorrila which was in the jungle. and he was only given a bow and 2 arrows. so he shot the first arrow, and the gorrila caught it. despite feeling slightly disappointed, he shot the second arrow, and once again, the gorrila caught it. but, the gorrila died. why ?
answer : when gorrilas feel as though they have triumphed, they would hit their chest. with the two arrows on each of his hand, he pierced through his own body and died. :)
yay !
and after lunch we headed for the mrt station. i was gonna meet my mom at clementi then she was gonna fetch me for tuition. aww, so sweet of her right ? :D you bet. she is my mom ! so obviously she rocks. although once in awhile, i do get fed up with all her nagging. but then again, which mother doesnt nag at their children ?
hmm tuition was alright. and as usual, sean made the class more vibrant. thankfully. otherwise i would have fell into depression over there. its just having my surroundings all silent then will i think of him even more. and then the stupid tears just roll down. otherwise, i can still cope with putting up a smile, while he sits at the back of my mind. :)
today has been a fairly good day. thank God, seriously thank God.
Thursday, October 19, 2006 ; 6:43 PM
just checked my received files. and saw something i shouldnt have seen - the shockwave flash object he created as a happy first month anniversary. and foolishly, i opened it. what happens after which is self explanatory.
having this emotional rollercoaster is taking away my confidence in letting him go. but then again, if the Lord has put me to this obstacle, He will put me through it. right ? okay cheer up denise. you arent gonna die. :) thank God. haha.
; 4:21 PM
you son of a bitch. you make me sick. now fuck off and vanish into thin air for all i care. i hate the lies, those which came straight from you. it would have been better if you were all honest with me. the hard truth might hurt, but those lies hurt even more. burn in hell you liar. while i will now pick myself up. i believe you have moved on. its time for me to get up my feet. i can do this. you hurt me so bad, bastard. fuck you. and never use the words "i love you" especially when you have absolutely no idea how much power it contains or even know what love is.and thanks melody ! for hearing me out yesterday. i love you girlll :)
tomorrow will be a better day. and count down people ! 8 days to my birthday !
its on the 27th of october, in case you have forgotten. haha buy me my present !
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 ; 6:24 PM
yet another conversation between the mad one, who is grace goh, and myself.
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
NOW READ MY NICKNAME
A Yellow Submarine// besties!! check out my blog! says:
HAHAHHAHA
A Yellow Submarine// besties!! check out my blog! says:
RUBBISH
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
its not rubbish !
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
am just stating the fact !
A Yellow Submarine// besties!! check out my blog! says:
okay
A Yellow Submarine// besties!! check out my blog! says:
i'll state a fact too!
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
O.O
A Yellow Submarine// DENISE IS MAD! I SWEAR! says:
there we go
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
oh noo.
A Yellow Submarine// DENISE IS MAD! I SWEAR! says:
HAHAHAHAH
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
LOL
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
shall put this small portion into my blog again.
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
HAHAHAH
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
you're mad i tell you!!
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
mad people of the world UNITE!!
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
LOL
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
I THINK YOURE MADDER GRACE.
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
*raises hand for a high five with denise*
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
FOR GOODNESS SAKE. O.O
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
HAHAHAH
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
come on denise!!
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
* puts hand far far away from grace * I AINT MAD !!
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
YEA YOU ARE
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
NO IM NOT ! YOU ARE. :D
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
no i'm not
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
okay
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
we are not having this argument
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
yes yes. please. not again.
and so we decided to stop. :) now we both arent mad anymore. but grace is, well, insane. hahahaha.
psst; MUNEH LOVES BOOBIES AND VAGINA ! LOL !
(while i seriously love kicking balls. any guy wants try me ?)
and grace just went
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
A Yellow Submarine// besties! check out my blog! says:
so i win!!
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
O.O
deníse ! ♥ ` GRACE IS NUTS, I SWEAR says:
huh, hell notttt !
AHEM. we all know who won this arguement. that is, none other than PRINCESS DENISE herself ! :D yayyy !
; 6:09 PM
first and foremost, a big thank you to colin, for lending me a listening ear last night. :) really do appreciate it. thanks pal. and as promised, for the time being, we will encourage each other and work on putting all these things aside.
once again, i got pretty emo last night. this really isnt my usual self. in fact, i loathe getting all emo. because on a third party's side of view, you would just seem all so pathetic. and you would perceive yourself to be all helpless. but then again, that really is how you feel when you get so depressed.
i really wonder where that denise is. it feels as though i have lost myself, at times like these. and its not exactly a very good thing. hmm like i mentioned, at the state im in, i probably wouldnt be able to do my utmost best for the olevels. believe it or not, i can score 90% when im in a fantabulas mood. and on the contrary, a horrifying 59% when im upset. blah.
enough, enough. no more going on. otherwise my mind would go dancing around like oooh-lalaaa ! :D
speaking of studies. i went to school early this morning (okay not that early. reach school around 9.45am) to "mug" with the girls. trust me, it was so not productive at all. we ended up having girl talk. i asked hardo turtle about her ex boyfriend thing and once she started, we never stopped. LOL.
and by the way, hardo turtle is hardo gayo, who is hengsher, whose real name is shermaine heng ! :D it was damn funny. she bobbed her head like a turtle today, while trying to imitate meryl's mother. so that should be more than sufficient to explain her new nickname. hahaha.
thats all folks. shall end here. im way too busy to continue. really. there are so many people chatting with me on msn. its driving me nuts. like literally. so bye.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 ; 6:13 PM
what more can i say ? i practically slacked my ass off the whole day. :)
i really dont feel like blogging today. so i wont. aint in the mood for anything and everything.
Monday, October 16, 2006 ; 9:03 PM
everybody please pray for shab. she has a viral infection ! and thats really all the information i got from grace. the olevels are drawing near, so please pray that she gets well soon ! thankyou ! :)
; 8:04 PM
praise the Lord now that there aint school anymore ! :) think i study a hell load better, in terms of focus and attention span, as well as rate of absorption, when i aint in class. so seriously, thank God there aint school anymore.
met up with colin again, at the jurong regional library. (wonder if cel was there too today) but anyway we were on the third floor. and joke of the day is, mr colin tan had absolutely forgotten that 4 x 5 = 20 ! haha. super funny. this aint meant to insult or offend him in any way though. so he worked on his english composition followed by emath fys, while i did my physics tys. am so glad i actually started on my physics. like wow ! :D in case you didnt know, i loathe physics. its the most boring and dry subject ever, after social studies. heh heh.
after about two hours or so, jon came to join us. he was supposedly having classes when i messaged him. but being the goody-too-shoes girl, as usual, i suggested that he ponned class and joined us at the library. and well, he took the idea. so he came. and for the first time, colin and jon met. :D psst; they both exchanged comments on each other ! aint gonna say it here though. but jon knows colin's comment on him. cos coocoo said it out when we were in the lift.
and trust me, jon is very destructive by nature. even he admits so. after colin left, jon and i headed back to the library. where i was supposed to study and he was supposed to read the book which he got off the shelf. but, he ended up destroying his compass. as in, the one which is found in your mathematical set. he pierced holes through here and there and poof, the compass looked more like a hammer rather than its original shape. :) goodness gracious.
oh. that reminds me. when we went to the jurong entertainment centre for lunch, i met this bitch. okay, not really met. but i sort of bumped into her. she was wearing a white sleeveless top, probably thinking she looked so fucking hot in it. when obviously she didnt. together with pants i believe. omg, i was just queuing up in front of that bitch at the drink stall. then the aunty asked her what drink she wanted. and you know, whenever people are talking to someone else, we girls sometimes like to kaypoh and turn our heads to whoever they are speaking to yes ? so i did that. and she gave me this face. as though she was doing a body-check for me. scanning down my clothings or something. or maybe even trying to see if my boobs are bigger than hers or not. (honestly she had a minimum C cup, which is the cup size im wearing. although i only wore a B cup today because i felt like it) and after which she gave me that "ouh, okay" kind of look. so i was pretty, if not extremely, turned off by her. i totally hate it when people scan through me. maybe its because im self-conscious ? no, im not. okay, perhaps its just my bloody period which caused much moodswing today. especially each time i look into the mirror, and gasp with horror at the pimples which broke out a couple of days before my period. oh damn it. well, back to this bitch. and as she and her friend walked out of the foodcourt, i noticed she told her friend something and then her friend looked at me. you know, when girls gossip ? like ugh, bitch. fuck off man. but then again, i too had my fair share of bitching about her. not really. i just complained a twee bit to colin. and then to jon. :D
another thing. i didnt know daniel was ice skating in the jurong entertainment centre ! otherwise i would have gone up to visit him and his friends. after all, we were already there. then he could have met jon and colin. ohwells. maybe its fated that we didnt meet outside home today. anyway i see him all day round. doesnt really make a difference whether we are meeting out of home or at home. :)
then home sweet home. i came back and started mapling. because jon thinks i study too hard. when he hasnt seen the rest of my classmates yet. they mug the shit outta their asses. okay. that sounded a bit crude. but its not like i dont use such phrases. so hmm, nevermind. pardon me ! :D and then on maple, when i was screaming at "loony" as he got this suuper kage with really good statistics (doesnt matter if you dont understand all these). so yuwei thought i was calling "looneytoons" which is dave. and then awhile later, yuwei pm-ed me telling me that his maple wife divorced with him because of this guy called looneytoons. which is dave. i was like, omg. okay, dave is my ex boyfriend. and i really doubt he was serious with me, even though i was quite serious with him. or at least, i had feelings for him. you know the type where when he feels upset, you feel so depressed just because he is upset ? yeah. even though we were just friends and even before i had feelings for him. anyway, that isnt my point. okay. if dave is now dating yuwei's girl, doesnt that make him a flirt ? like, omg. if he wants to date her, he better make sure he is serious with her. otherwise i will just kick him in his balls the next time we meet on the street. (as if we will ever meet. but yeah, if we happen to, then yes) that asshole deserves some punishment. one day, he will get his retribution. but then, if he really is serious about yuwei's girl, then i sincerely wish them both all the best from the bottom of my heart. :D and i would even support them, even though yuwei is my friend. but hey, yuwei only married her in maple. not like they both know each other in real life, i think. but yuwei's girl does know dave in real life. so ohwells. doesnt matter. aint really interested in finding out about his life, but if the information comes along the way, i would say why not listen to it ? its called girls and their gossips. and
kaypohness is a virtue, right jaimeepoks ? :D
speaking of relationships get me all upset over again. and i just read li yan's blog not too long ago. she too isnt having a good time, thanks to wengyu who is my brother's friend. grr, men. and jon has been the only person who figured that i was putting up a fake front this afternoon. beneath all the smiles is really a depressed denise. :(
ohwells. how much worse can things get ? it will get better, someday. :)
Sunday, October 15, 2006 ; 7:54 PM
i tell you, this grace is mad. here is the evidence.
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
youre mad.
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
no i'm not
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
YOU ARE
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
HAHAHAHAHHA
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
YOU ARE THE ONE LAH
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
NO LORR
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
HMPH.
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
YES LORR
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
I DON'T FRIEND YOU ANYMORE
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
HMPHFS.
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
I ALSO DONT FRIEND YOU ANYMORE
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
*does the funny hand finger thing*
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
okay
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
my name is grace. would you like to be my friend?
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
O.O
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
okay.
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
my name is denise. i wouldnt mind being your friend.
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
*shakes denise's hand*
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
(:
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
FRIEND!!
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
* shakes grace's hand *
deníse ! ♥ ` sex, lies & online dating says:
FRIEND !!
A Yellow Submarine// CAN SOMEONE SEND ME LAST DAY PICTURES PLEASE says:
YAY
see what i mean ? :D
and i made her guess who was inside this picture.
she thought it was yihui. no, its my best friend sheril !
and within such a short period of time, we both turned into banglas. how cute. o.o
; 1:28 PM
yay ! the ahpek (justine) just sent me about a hundred pictures not too long ago. from all that we took on the very last day of school. and so i shall put some up on my blog. :D
welcome to 4b3'06. :) this is how our classroom looks like.
the backboard, done by the hady fans. and our tables. :)
4b3 is where friendships are made and pleasures are shared.
from left to right : melody, melodie, meryl, jacinth, justine, me
i will never forget these girls. <3
here, we had our fair share of sleeping in class as well.
and not paying attention in class, even when we are awake.
because our teachers didnt have much control over us. :)
from left to right : magsim, justine, me
and these two "planks" were made in our 2 year journey. :D
from left to right : melody, gina
we were trying to bend down to take pictures with the "planks"
from left to right : justine, me
what i call the "ah pek" :D im sure you guys agree now.
thats hardo gayo (sher) ! :D hahaha. i took that picture.
picture of my bestfriend (sheril) and magsim taken by me too ! :)
i will definitely miss mgs. all the memories will be placed close to my heart.
and the quadrangle which seemed so insignificant in the past.
so we took a picture lying down to remember it all. :)
and thats millimong trying to do her titanic pose ! haha. :D
even the poles will be remembered. (thats us in the background)
and the yearly decorated christmas tree (s) :D LOL
from left to right : melodie, justine, jacinth, meryl, melody, me
in our lovely bamboo courtyard.
a big thank you to all the teachers who have impacted our lives. :)
the class of 2006 loves you too ! <3
need i say anymore ? :)
Saturday, October 14, 2006 ; 2:54 PM
was on the way home from tuition today when a komodo dragon ran across the road as my dad slowed down the car. and surprisingly, i went "omg so cute !" when all these reptiles are my biggest enemies ever. i should suppose you could say a girl's action or speech is more or less dependent on her mood. havent exactly been myself this morning. so much so that i even left some of my belongings in the room where my tuition is being held. thankfully sean called my phone to tell me in time, before i left the place. still, daddy had to make a u-turn for me to collect my stuff.
and my forty-three year old wannabe teenage mother just declared that she wants to create a hotmail account so that she can chat on msn messenger as well. like, wow ? on one hand, its cool to have a mother like her. but, hey, that means i would have less privacy on my personal life, now that she is able to read my msn nickname and all. which shows a great deal of the present state i am in. that is, very heartbroken. furthermore, she knows nothing about jeffrey. so it looks like i have to change everything when she adds me on msn. haha. :)
next time round, i bet she would want a blog. and get my link as well. this is bad. so bad.
oh and daddy just bought 'the da vinci code' ! :D yayness. im so gonna watch it later on in the day. probably soon though. i would be going out for dinner tonight with my relatives. to celebrate my timothy & daniel's belated birthday and to celebrate the upcoming birthdays of mine and my aunt's. buffet at marina square, i think. wonder what we would be having. apparently there is a variety. like japanese, western, chinese, etc. yeah.
shall end here for now. got to search for some korean songs which my mom wants. she intends to burn it into a cd and put it in the car. even though most of the time she listens to the news. okay, my extremely eccentric mother. but, i still love her. :)
Friday, October 13, 2006 ; 5:05 PM
finally, it is the
last official day of school. had a fair share of fun with my girl friends at school. but considering what happened last night, and how i felt throughout the entire day today,
im not sure if i can still call it a good day.
last night, i messaged him to ask if we were gonna be on the phone tonight. and after an hour or so, i still had no reply. heeding colin's queer suggestion of
trying to hate him to make myself forget him, the blood within me started to boil. thus i sent him another message, which was filled with vulgarity. i have absolutely no idea why i did that,
without thinking of the consequences. its only after which, that i realised it would have meant the
end of our friendship. on top of that, i somehow or another totally ignored him when he said hello today. even after yuwei straightfowardly went "denise you havent said hello to jeffrey" to think that i was the one who ticked him off on courtesy yesterday. how ironic, isnt it ? maybe its because im feeling really fed-up. (yes i seriously hate it when i bother to message you but you dont reply back) or to be a little more honest,
i wish he could tell me he still cared about our friendship.
i dont know if im really doing the right thing, about trying to hate him and all. munch says
it wouldnt work out, from her own experience. and she surprisingly asked me how is it between me and him today. it really hit me.
this isnt really what i want to do. but i doubt i have any other choices. im desperate to get over him.
even if its just a little. it would help me a great deal. given my current situation, i really doubt i would have the clarity of the mind to sit for my olevels.
even as im typing this entry, im also trying to hold back the tears. thats really how bad im hurting deep inside.
but im trying not to reveal it. i mean,
im definitely not the emo type of girl and if i suddenly get all emo, it would probably make my loved ones worry. yeah. i still cant understand why this guy is
the one who can make me cry. was colin right in saying that
i subconsciously gave myself wholeheartedly to him ? but how is it possible that
i didnt manage to safeguard my own heart ? it gets me puzzled. yeah.
but you know, right now i feel so
distant away from him. such that it feels as though he is
nothing but a stranger to me. that kind of gap.
one thing i must be
determined about is i must
not lower my dignity any further for him. i always think to myself. like, hey he is the one who did me wrong. (well,
he hurt me, so he did me wrong) so why should i be holding on to this friendship ? c'mon,
its not like i dont have friends. and for about an hour or so, my feelings would be more in control. at least i dont turn all emo in my bed room. :)
alright,
enough of him !
on the more joyful note, we took
many pictures today. be it in class or around the school. i took a picture with gina ! she was pointing to my skirt (which so isnt short at all today) and i was, being
all drama-mama, pretending to be in horror. and believe it or not, we even
stayed back to take pictures together. the six of us. yes yes. plus sheril ! (my-on-and-off-best-friend) :D first we went to the christmas trees which are put up near the flagpoles. as the tree had many huge ribbons hung on it, we pulled five out and placed it around our badges then took a picture. haha. how much more retarded can one get ? but i guess these are
the special things which i would remember most clearly about and treasure.
we also took pictures of us
lying on the concrete floor of the quadrangle. i swear
it is no joke man. suuper
hard, suuper
hot ! and
dirty ! haha. imagine the number of people stepping on it every day and there you are lying on that floor,
under the scorching sun. but since its our last time, i would say, why not ? :D had pictures with the other christmas tree at the bamboo courtyard as well. and of cos, took pictures
with the poles at the running tracks.
we practically did the things which
we would never be able to do again. i
will miss mg, thats for sure. and needless to say, 4b3 2006 ! :D you girls have been
AWESOME ! i swear.
there are no other classes better than this one. im thankful that im in this class. and
thank you all for all the memories you have left me with. although there are some disputes once in a blue moon. yeah. but overall, you girls have been great. and like most teachers have commented,
we are indeed the class which has most fun together, even though our academic grades are not exactly very good compared to the rest of the cohort. haha.
b3 will always be covalently bonded ! :)i love you girls !
Thursday, October 12, 2006 ; 8:05 PM
joke of the day
stolen from sher, aka H.G. (hardo gayo) :D
A snail entered a bar. "A martini please," the snail said to the bartender. The bartender thought it was trying to be funny, and flicked the snail off the bar counter.
One year later, the snail appeared again.
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"
LOL
and i was editting a picture i took today. because my engine has automatically switched off after mugging for a couple of days. yes yes, thats how poor my discipline is.
anyway i took this picture. a side view of me. and i used Coral Paint Shop Pro X to play with the picture. and this is how it looks like !
half of denise + another half of denise = seriously mutated pufferfished denise. :D laugh people, laugh. it really made me laugh until my tummy was aching. haha.
; 3:16 PM
happy 21st birthday hiro ! :D
i actually forgot it was his birthday today. haha. until i saw his msn nickname. ohwells. happy birthday little one ! youre finally an adult. but even then, im still more matured than you are. LOL
hmm what more can i say ? i ponned school again. really didnt feel like going to school yesterday. was feeling all down. thankfully i had colin to chat on the phone with. he was trying to psycho me ! haha. but like he said, if it helps, why not ? so thanks pal, i appreciate it. :)
good bye. i dont feel like blogging much today. so thats all.
i fight these tears by your bedside.how dare i let you see me cry ?i didnt have the heart to tell you.its really bad, its really bad this time.your wings werent meant for this,this weather that no one guessed.no calm before the storm,and its gone before the panic sets.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006 ; 6:43 PM
happy birthday daniel darling. :D
its my brother's birthday today, in case you didnt know. when ting saw my msn nickname, she thought daniel was my boyfriend. hahaha. i was like, uh no,
daniel is my brother.
okay. lets see. ponned school
again. and went to the jurong regional library with colin
again. and then we studied there for about five hours
again. ended up chatting slightly more today though. on relationships. he is out of love, and so am i. its okay pal, we have each other.
relationships never last, but friendships last forever. :)
oh yeah. speaking of ponning school. THE DEVIL TRIUMPHED OVER THE ANGEL. hahaha. i was
convincing enough yesterday to make wilder change her mind and pon school today too ! LOL. she sent me a message around midnight yesterday telling me she was gonna pon. yay charis ! i beat you. nanny nanny poo poo. :D
uh so anyway, after mugging i went down to clementi to meet up with my momma. she parked the car and we walked over to the
macdonalds just opposite the road. to buy dinner back home. (its daniel's birthday and he
loves macdonalds, you see)
after which, bought the cake from the
bengawan solo that was right smack next to the macdonalds. wanted to get the cake from sweet secrets. a pity daddy aint in singapore. mom is sucha lousy parker. (she can drive, but she cant park for nuts. if she attempts, there goes another few hundreds on repainting) :D
so home sweet home we went after that.
here are some pictures which i took. :)
the not too appealing cake.
wonder what his wish is. :)
please blow properly. we dont wanna end up eating your saliva as well. :)
finally, a smile from the birthday boy. :)
excuse me mommy, i saw that. (she was trying to take this nut from the cake) haha. :D
bye !
and i shall now conclude that charmaine (the girl daniel likes; my potential sister-in-law or so i hope) has a really cute cousin. :D
but then again, love shouldnt even exist. ohwells.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006 ; 8:07 PM
i swear this is damn bloody annoying.
im forever and always receiving stupid chain mails.
with a "if you dont send this you will die in xx days"
like come on, its only an email.
okay, so what if its true ? DIE THEN DIE LAH.
its God who decides your life and death.
pfft.
NOW NO MORE CHAIN MAILS PLEASE.
or i swear i will kick your balls.
; 7:16 PM
it really amazes me how quickly i can spend a hundred dollars within less than half an hour, just on shopping alone. my dad must be living a really sad life, working so hard everyday just to find himself signing bills after bills. haha.
lets see. mom and i went for our haircuts together at far east plaza today. mine cost $27 while hers was $30. $3 off for students. not too bad. oh, and when i walked into the salon, our hairdresser was like "okay, so what hairstyle do you have in mind again ?" it was like, aye im not that crazy as to cut a totally different hairstyle each visit. after all, its not like the length of my hair permits so. :D anyway, now that my hair is still short, around the shoulders, i decided to cut like my mom. simple and unlayered. but my hair was already extremely layered to begin with, so right now, the only difference between her hair and mine is that i got a fringe while she doesnt, and my hair is far more layered than hers. pretty cool huh ? wait till its very much longer (probably around my boobs) then i will start doing the weirdest things ever alive to my hair. :D perhaps a couple of self-drawn pictures on paint would give you a rough idea of how my hair would look like next time.
oh goodness. my art using the mouse really isnt good. it looks like shit. my curls arent even curls. they look more like onion rings to me. :D
hahaha. and the back view of this one looks like ice cream. :D okay. uhm, i hope the pictures are self explanatory. well this one is supposed to have a little tail. you know, like those little boys whose mommas make them keep a tail at the back ? haha yeah. im planning to do something like that. but further down. probably if my hair is long enough by then, a 5 inch tail or something.
and lastly,
have it all slanted ! front and back. pretty interesting. :D
okay enough of hairstyles. hmm after which, mommy and i went on a retail therapy. on our way up, we were already sooo effing tempted to shop. the clothings just gave us energy. yeah like literally. and our eyeballs were like popping out, straining to see the clothings from a distant. LOL i swear, my mom and i are hopeless.
i bought a royal green top which cost me $43, a brown skirt which cost me $30 and a black beaded necklace which cost me $15. mommy on the other hand bought very much lesser. just a top which cost her $32 i think. :D so altogether, i spent $125 today, including the haircut ! this is very bad. but what more can i say ?
girls are professional shoppers. too bad.
Monday, October 09, 2006 ; 8:25 PM
stolen from celestina ! :D :D :D
See what Care Bear you are.
my third entry for today. like wow !
; 7:20 PM
power naps are always the best ! :D they surprisingly can revive a partially dead zombie - me ! slept so little last night, obviously im extremely tired today. record record, i slept at 5am. and to add on, we had humanities to kick off the day. eew. but i must say i was really suprised when i got back my script when we did the acsi paper. miss bong gave me all ticks ! which means all my points were valid. :D yay ! i would never be able to get such a thing in thomsett's class. even if my points were better than hers, she would probably still mark me wrong. she hates me. and well, vice versa. :D LOL. but overall, i still failed the trial test. haha only finished answering half of the questions. yes yes, i need better time management.
surf surf surf. i went over to shab's blog. and this is what i saw ! :D
FUNNY ISNT IT ?! :D HAHAHA. i burst out laughing when i saw it. its yet another unglam picture of miss ho ! whoops, she had so better not see this. :D it was taken when we gave her a suprise birthday party. some sort. where we bluffed her that gina fainted and she rushed all the way down only to find a birthday cake. :D and party poppers !
; 2:31 PM
around 4 am this morning, slightly more than half an hour after i got off the phone with jeffrey, i cried out to the Lord begging Him to take my life away. just let me die peacefully in my sleep. i dont want to ever wake up again.
this world is too terrifying for me to handle. sometimes, i wonder to myself if God has placed us on earth as a test of our tolerance level. the pain from this love is really nearly unbearable. the pressure i receive from my parents and myself to pass with flying colours for the upcoming olevels. the bitterness i see in all sorts of relationships. im guessing my very own brother is going through a difficult time himself. a pity i failed to fulfil my duty as a sister, to at least know what exactly he is going through. but i really have no time for him. i have my own problem and my studies to cope with. at present, we are sleeping at different timings which distants us even further. and i believe quite a number of my close friends are experiencing boy-girl relationship problems as well. was just chatting with one of my classmates in the evening yesterday. in addition, friendship has somewhat turned into a nightmare as well. all the backstabbing that is going on, etc. but if you can find true friends, i say good for you. :D
all these problems pile up and it seems that life is slowly turning into a living hell. so torturing, that even a girl like me had encountered with suicidal thoughts early this morning. i wondered. if i were to cut deep enough into my artery, then soak my wrist in warm water, causing the artery to burst, would i die faster that way ? rather than just allowing the blood to flow continuously until i pass out and be gone from this world. after all, its not like im afraid of blood anymore. if i were, i think i would have died countless of times. (for the benefit of those whose minds process slower, its because we girls menstruate every month. pardon me if you find me too straightforward) and taking in poison would have been another option.
but then again, its not like he would care even if i die someday. question then would be, if you dont care, why should i ? if he can take the break up so lightly, why cant i ? WHY NOT ? i couldnt find a perfect reason to my answer. so naturally i dropped the idea of suicide. its not like i was that keen on it anyway. there are so many things out there in this world that i have to try, that i have to experience. besides, suicide is just a stupid solution for you to escape from all your troubles. or rather, a coward's solution. thus i ended up concluding that my next entry (which is this entry) would be a really long one. im going to blog everything out. maybe it would help me to let go. i dont know. maybe just to a certain extent. but a little bit helps. at least its better than none.
and i decided to dedicate this portion (from here until the end) of my entry to my ex boyfriend. his name is jeffrey. to all my other readers out there, you can stop reading now. haha. :D but it doesnt matter even if you wanna continue. there isnt much for me to hide anyway.
well i have never done this or anything similar to this before. so right now, even though i have many things to say to you (which you probably dont know because i never told you before), my mind cant construct it systematically and producing it out. so this is really weird. and some sort of confession time. haha. :D
but first and foremost, i would like to begin with thanking you, from the bottom of my heart. thank you for the many wonderful memories you have created for me. even though right now looking back hurts me, but at least i have experienced that special kind of sweetness. something which i have never really experienced before. and for compromising with me although sometimes you reluctantly do so (like that time when jon joined us in the library. i know you have mentioned before that you dont like socialising with new people - although i beg to differ ! but i really appreciated the fact that you didnt complain or anything. instead you just kept quiet about it). and thank you for allowing me to try out something new. (you should know what i mean. dont think you would want me to say it out here yes ? lol. but yeah, despite the fact that i never actually thought i would do something like that and thought i crossed my guiding line by a little bit, i dont actually regret doing it even at this point in time) :D
i remember the first time we got to know each other, was through maplestory. because i happened to be guild-hopping at that point in time, and since amber invited me to join unorthodox, i agreed. although i was new to the guild, your nonsense was just humourous and it did make me smile. what 'katong flowers' T.T like, whatt rubbish is that man ?! LOL. then for some reason or another, we chatted through private messaging in the guild and i told you about dave. before he and i got together, when we actually got together and after we broke up. you shared with me some of your personal life as well. for some reason or another, we managed to click. and i guess that was the main reason as to why we got married on maple, though there were no feelings. and yes, thank you for buying the pre-paid cards and paying for the marriage. it was a memorable one. :)
as time went by, we exchanged handphone numbers, got to know each other better, then finally met up. and it was at the very last cabin of the mrt train if you remember. i was as usual petrified for no apparent reason. so we ended up messaging each other instead, although less than 5 metres apart. well thank you for spending money on smsing, instead of just confronting me and scaring me away. haha. :D until that point, there were still no feelings.
time went on and we got together. i never actually thought i would have taken the risk again, after what happened between me and dave. but since i sort of liked you and was really touched by your sincerity, i decided to take another gamble. i thought to myself "you never try, you never know" ! :D just maybe, you could be my mr right. just maybe. and i remember when i broke the news out to melody, she was shocked. very. she asked me why i did such a thing. and even after i explained to her, i dont actually think i got her full support. but yeah.
one thing i must confess. when we first started out and when you told me you marked on your handphone until december 2006. as in, monthly anniversaries. honestly i was taken aback by surprise. and i thought to myself "would we last that long ?" 5 months at that point in time seemed like quite a long time for me. but true enough, we didnt even last for 5 months. unfortunately for me, the reason was the other way round. it wasnt because i didnt want to be in the relationship anymore. but you.
as i look at what i typed, i realised i wasnt that serious with you to begin with. how did i end up in the state i am in now ? im pretty curious to know the answer myself. how is it possible that within less than 2 months, i know i do love you ? (okay maybe not love. but definitely the very least of a strong liking) how come its so deep that i can even cry because of you until this very day ? its been 1 month and 2 days. you know me. i told you when we were friends that i seldom cry for guys. because i feel that they arent worth it. i cried 3 nights for ervin, and 5 nights for dave. after which, all the tears just stopped there. call me hard-hearted if you must ! :D so how come things ended up like this ? why did we even have to break up ? was it necessary ? couldnt we try working things out ?
but i guess i will now leave the unanswered questions aside.
i will let go, just like what you and i want me to do. i know you are already more than half way through. so its now my turn.
and if you wanna know why i cried last night, it was because of what you said. about the 30% thing. im telling you now, that i think its bullshit. you cant and shouldnt be telling me that you still love me. because its not true. when you really love a person, you wont be able to decrease the depth of 'love' for that someone within such a short period of time. love is not something in which you can control. and my answer to your question last night was going to be a 100% but i really didnt have the mood to let you know. plus i felt like a fool, toyed by this special but scary thing called love. and i only learnt all these after our break up. before that, i never really knew much even though i must admit i had quite a number of relationships. :D but life is a learning journey. we never stop learning. im glad i learnt more about love now.
ohwells. its all over now. im glad we are still friends. i will make myself let go as soon as possible. i dont know how long i would take. maybe a couple of months ? years ? i dont know. but one thing thats for sure. life is full of ups and downs. now that im at the down, i will be at the up sometime soon. :) look at the positive side denise. your cup is half full, not half empty.
so good luck jeffrey. all the best in finding the girl you really love. hopefully she too will love you. then you wont suffer from all the pain. WHILE I WILL GO HUNTING FOR MY RICH AND OLD DYING MAN ! :D hahaha. till then people !