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Saturday, September 30, 2006 ; 5:03 PM
noticed my counter stat jumping. which indicates that many people have been visting my blog without tagging. to be precise, i probably had this counter since three days ago. a hundred over visitors would mean slightly over thirty per day. and it seems like i only have a couple of people tagging my blog ? barely even reaching two digits. this is really bad.
aint gonna go on emphasizing on the necessity of tagging. that would cause me to sound like an old grannie. but i just urge y'll to tag. for the simplest reason. i want to know who has read my blog. and what exactly you know about my life. (although this blog has been made public to everyone, i dont actually think it is demanding of me to know who knows what, etc) thankyou. :D
PLEASE TAG EACH TIME YOU VISIT MY BLOG.
; 4:37 PM
its the last day of the month of september ! which means i would be getting my monthly allowance again ! yayness to money. money + denise = rich and happy denise ! :D
money does wonders. i swear. am pretty certain it can cheer a depressing girl up. because with money, comes shopping. :D and everyone knows retail therapies are OMFG, heavenly.
but money is still prioritized below love, in my opinion. they say money is the root of all evil. i say its love. its really scary to love someone. you never know how badly hurt you can get.
ohwells.
and by the way, this is my 200th post. can you imagine how effing much i blog ? but then again, im sure there are many others who blog even more frequently than i do. :D
so anyway, i had tuition this morning. and am still feeling a little sour about the fact that sean koh knows my aggregate score for my l1r5. on top of that, he announced it to the class. pfft.
this is so depressing. i hate my l1r5. i did so effing badly. and i still dont feel the pressure from the fact that the olevels are drawing nearer day by day. in fact, miss lai counted it to be 37 days away.
whatever.
i shall just focus on being happy happy me for these few days ! :D havent gotten over him. the pain is still there. believe it or not, i still cry for him. (dont bother reinforcing the fact that he aint worth it because i already do know that. its just that, i dont know. i have absolutely no idea how i even got myself into this shit) even when i try intensive mugging, which colin suggested, it doesnt work because half the time (or even more) would be spent thinking about him. so i shall just ignore the studies for now. do work only when i feel like it. and spend the rest of my time doing whatever that pleases me. hey, after all, im the princess. so i should be just enjoying life, right ? :D haha.
Friday, September 29, 2006 ; 6:04 PM
ponned school today. :D
went out with jon to jurong point. watched john tucker must die. :D the movie was below my expectations though. very unrealistic. especially the ending where the guy could continue partying even though he was supposedly hurt by the main actress. honestly, if i ever find out i was being toyed with, i wouldnt have the mood to party any further. in fact, i might even just start crying. and that made me sound like a weakling !
ohnono, denise is strong. :D
on the more positive note, the movie had quite a fair bit of humour. one part made me laugh a hell load. fortunately the theatre was nearly empty ! otherwise it would have been so uber embarassing. you all know how denise is like when she laughs or screams. :D so i wont bother elaborating on that.
after which, we went to the library. i studied while he read a book. so i did study alright. :D and trust me, we nearly got lost on the way to the jurong west library. thanks to the construction which forced us to take on the longer route. i dont exactly have a very good sense of direction ya know ? hahaha.
then it was home sweet home ! :D
- i so friggin love daniel ! HE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO FIX UP THE INTERNET CONNECTION ! even i couldnt do that. ):
- 4b1 has a vandaliser in class ! some effing moron vandalised on some of the girls tables. gossips travel real fast yeah ? :D
- im missing him, still. was feeling really down last night. but ohwells, like i always say. life goes on no matter what ! i will stick to my words.
Thursday, September 28, 2006 ; 5:09 PM
its been quite some time since i last did cheap thrills like THIS. but doing so once in a blue moon still does excite me a twee bit, somehow.
had a free period during the second half of the day, so justine and i went to the library to study. unfortunately we were being chased out half way, cos pufferfish (the nickname given to the librarian by princess denise ! :D haha she should be feeling real honoured yeah) said it was her lunch time. whats new ? she always has her lunch at a fixed time. that is, 12 noon, in case you didnt know.
so being goody-too-shoe girls, we went out to the entrance of the library where we sat down with munch, faith, melissa and alecia. then one of them said they had unlocked the side door. :D it was something like the four of them attempted to hide inside the library so they need not get out while pufferfish goes down to the canteen for lunch. but they failed, so they unlocked the side door. in fact, they got scolded. LOL
and like you most probably have already guessed, yes, we sneaked into the library. hahaha it was hilarious. should we get caught, we would have gotten into some deep shit. munch even said we could just get suspended ? O.O doubt it would be that serious, but im pretty sure we would at least get blacklisted. hmm yeah.
but only three out of six of us sneaked back in. me, munch and alecia. :D the other three didnt really wanna take the risk. especially melissa. apparently she would lose her scholarship for swimming if she gets blacklisted. but honestly, i dont think its that easy to get caught. ohwells. so the three of them helped to jaga the entrance. :D
munch was funny. she was playing the sims while we were inside the library. LOL and it was even funnier when we made the two characters start kissing and all. :D it started off with just flirting, then hugging and then kissing. hahaha. and munch made them kiss thrice in a row, until they were both in love with each other. haha. :D
hmm i can still remember, the last time i sneaked was probably a few years back. around late primary six to early secondary school. can still recall, in primary six my friends and i always hid in the toilet during assembly and we would copy our undone chinese homework there. hahaha. and another time i ran out of school with someone else to buy macdonalds for recess. :D
but those were the days. denise is now a good girl. admit it ! and i dont think i was actually that bad. i mean, no harm missing assembly and running outta school. as long as i got back on time. (okay i dont think i went back on time, but slightly late only lah. blame primary school recesses for being so short)
and after school, we supposedly had extra physics lessons. but it ended up more of a lecture session instead ? miss cheong always tickles me with her sarcasm. i like sarcasm, to a certain extend. and omgosh, miss or nearly cried. oh dear oh dear, she must have been really disappointed in us girls. must be really hard for her to take our class as her first batch of girls. ):
and the following text is written by hiro ! started from scratch. check it out. i think its pretty good. :D
like a puppet in your hands, your will, my actions. played with like the toy i am in your eyes, i can take no more. i cant hold on, i cant let go! so free me; from the strings that binds my soul. take me away; to where all good men go. ... or, just let me die; leave my soul to eternal torment. let me be; for i wish to be bound no more! if He who is light, creator of life, truly exists, show me ur wrath, prove your existance, burn those ties, and show me once again the likes of liberation!
oh yes. another thing.
everyone, STAY AWAY FROM JACINTH.
she whacks people like nobodys business ! OMG. you should have seen how justine and i ran away from her this morning. :D hahaha. super hilarious. we were walking up the stairs and complaining that she keeps whacking people on their arms in front of her. then she kept whacking even more lah. so shameless.
every time jacinth turned back, me and justine would literally jump in horror and then take a few steps back. hahaha. scary man ! :D
and ps, i bought another pen ! :D a red doll one this time round. but faith cheong plucked its head out. so its now just a red fluffy pen.
check it out.
here is the doll's head.
and now this is how my pen looks like.
yay ! pens unite ! (the purple clown head fell off. so both pens look so alike now. only difference would probably just be the colour)
last one. my toenail. :D its supposed to be a ladybug, but obviously i didnt do a very good job. screwed up the first attempt. LOL gonna take the nail polish off already. its time to trim my toenails. it probably is more than 1cm long from the nailbed. doesnt sound that long, but it is. trust me. :D
tell me my toe looks fat. O.O ohwells, i guess thats all folks. love love !
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 ; 4:59 PM
stole this from friendster. kaiting posted it. and it made me cry. ):
Girl Facts: 1. When a girl misses you, she's afraid to see how your new girl looks, she's dreading the fact that youre not hers any more. 2. When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when bumping heads 3 years later 3. When a girl just stares deep into your eyes, she's HOPING that your hers and only hers (it shows how much she cares: eyes never lie). 4. When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind. 5. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. 6. When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around. 7. When a girl answers, "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine. 8. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful. 9. When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever. 10. When a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention. 11. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. 12. When a girl says, "I'll love you forever"she means it. 13. When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. 14. When a girl says, "I miss you" no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Guy Facts: 1. When a guy calls you he wants to be with you. 2. When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you. 3. When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong. 4. When a guy says, "I'm fine" after a few minutes, he means it. 5. When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do? 6. When you're laying your head on a guy's chest he has the world. 7. When a guy calls you everyday he is in love 8. When a (good) guy say he loves you he means it. 9. When a guy says he can't live without you he's with you till your done. 10. When a guy says, "I miss you"he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else.
sigh. when youre out of love, and when you read such articles, somehow the pain just comes back. even though youre trying your utmost best not to think about it. its been twenty days. im still in the midst of trying.
and while youre here in pain, he is out there enjoying himself. on one hand, yes you are glad that he is happy. but the question is, how did he recover so quickly ? was he even serious about us ? i guess that hurts most. yeah.
weikang attempted to cheer me up though. thanks you guguhead. (although you definitely wont see this. hahaha) :D his display picture is of an angry baby ready to punch anyone. and he says its him. yeah right. whatever man. :D
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 ; 5:06 PM
went to island creamery earlier on with justine, melody, meryl and shermaine (you could call her hardo gayo too) ahhaha. :D and i was so blur at that point in time. i could hardly process whatever they said. be it simple sentences or the complex ones. it took my so long just to understand them. something was so wrong with me. but then again, its expected since my mind wasnt really concentrating on what they were talking about. instead, it wandered around. lol
ohwells. i still love the cookies & cream flavour ! despite the fact that it is pretty common. can be found @ haagen daaz and all. so, yeah. but its the best flavour ever alive ! dont believe, ask the cookies & cream fanatics. hahaha.
and my mom just pissed the hell outta me. i hate it when people beat around the bush. youve got something to say, just tell me straight into my face. is that so difficult ? i dont think so.
Monday, September 25, 2006 ; 2:46 PM
today has been extremely tiring. my brains are definitely exhausted. the day began with a literature poem from acsi, followed on by the physics practical which totally bored the hell outta me. and lastly, an amath mock paper. oh my fucking gawd, i was so gonna die. thus i wanted to maple, BUT the fucking maplesea just had to lag its ass outta me. okay, im pissed. and this sentence came into my mind "omgosh, im going to have a bitchfit" LOL now thats really bimbotic. so i wont attempt to speak my mind. :D
and MISTER MU-NEHNEH KNOWS NO BRA. :D he is one asshole, trust me.
oh gawd, i was just reminded after visiting jacinths blog. my friends are going for the singapore idol results show tonight. and believe it or not, im giving it a miss. this is annoying. ahh whatever, not like im really gonna miss much. just the fun theyre gonna have there. during dinner and all the screaming during the thang itself. aint supporting jonathan leong or hady. but i think im more for hady. cos he is sherils cousin ! and sheril is my (ex) best friend. :D hahaha.
but my mom supports jonathan leong. last night, we were watching their performances on telly. it was during the re-cap where i went "i think jonathan is doing a really bad job for this song (which was chasing cars by snow patrol)" then my mom went "YOURE GOING TO BED TOMORROW AT 8PM" like, whattt ?! meaning poor me will be sleeping early tonight while she and daniel watches the result show on telly. T.T
after which, i continued to give my comments. (hey, after all, singapore is a democratic country isnt it ? well, supposedly at least) so i said "frankly, hady is better looking than jonathan" and to indirectly insult me (or so she says), she went "now i know what kind of son-in-law im going to get" because my mom doesnt really fancy hady. she says unemployed guys are nothing compared to someone from the singapore university. yeah yeah, whatever. this is singapore idol. they arent signing up for some job application, lady. :D
now im inspired to do an after olevels to-do-checklist. mmm, no, i shall not. not for now at least. toodles !
Sunday, September 24, 2006 ; 1:59 PM
the before and after lunch was hilarious.
before that, my mom announced that my tutor is sick. which means he wont be coming today ! we have a day off ! :D
AWW, SO POOR THING. MY DEAR TUTOR IS RUNNING A FEVER. LOL.
my mom started laughing like some lunatic woodbridge patient when i said that. hahaha. she sure gets tickled easily.
then, after lunch, mom and i shared a guava together. being all elated, i decided to try sucking in (ya know, like drinking water from a straw) the leftover guava powder.
and then ended up getting choked. so naturally i COUGHED. and poof, POWDER SPLATTERED EVERYWHERE ! like poof, IT BECAME KOKO KRUNCH. :D super funny.
my mom just stared at me. and that made me laugh really hard. so hard that the powder dispersed itself even more. hahahaha. so, well, we poured out more guava powder. :D
; 11:48 AM
my mommy was on the phone with my aunt this morning. and great news ! my aunt is pregnant again. :D and, on top of that, she MIGHT be carrying twins ! its so omgosh. uber exciting. BUT, the twins would most probably not be identical. apparently she had two eggs at that time. hmm not too sure about these. i dont take biology. (and thats my excuse)
aww man, she makes me wanna have twins too ! :D :D :D
thats it, im inspired. when i grow up, im gonna keep trying until i get a set of twins. :D identical female ones please. (call me sexist if you must. hahahaha) well, girls are definitely better off. at least you could doll them up. (plus they can be your shopping partners. mommy and i are one fine example) and face it, we girls are tons more obedient than you guys. LOL. :D
also, my uncle offered me a job, after my olevels. to work in his office. am pretty keen on taking up the job, although i would be working alone. (not with my girl friends) he works in the banking sector. and since i would most probably enter the business line, i think this experience would benefit me, in some way or another yeah. :D
but my aunt suggested my mom send me overseas to study instead. since my preliminary results werent fantastic, my olevel results may not necessarily be that fantastic either. furthermore, the likelihood of polytechnic students entering the nus or ntu is rather low. so she was saying "what happens if denise cant enter nus or ntu ? you would still send her overseas to get her degree, so you might as well just send her now"
when my mom brought it up to me, i was stunned. really. i never thought going overseas after my olevels would have been one of my options. in fact, like many of my friends know, i have already mapped my study route out. after i leave mgs, it would definitely be to a polytechnic (chances are, to singapore polytechnic) and after which, i intend to make it into ntu. :D
then again, it is true. life is full of ups and downs. what if my academic results in the polytechnic disallows me to get into ntu ? what am i gonna do ? probably over to smu or overseas. and what if my olevels results are that bad ? until the state where i cant even select my own course ? wont i wanna go overseas to pursue the course i want ? maybe.
so, anyway i told my mom should i be sent overseas, she had better ensure that the school id be attending would be one that is reputable. otherwise, the degree i get wont be recognised in singapore. yes, i still want to come back to singapore to work after i finish my study course. :D
hmm i dont think adapting to the environment there would be too much of a problem for me. what im more afraid of would be that i over-adapt and become one of them. (forgot to mention, if im going overseas, it would be to america) and we all know, americans are extremely open people. :D
one of my greatest fears would be that i would mix with the wrong company and start partying every night. hence neglecting my studies. and that would defeat my main purpose in going overseas. which is, to ensure that i get my degree. (just in case youve forgotten)
another would be that my principles would change. we human beings change according to our environment. i believe majority of the americans dont cherish their virginity. despite the fact that i treasure my virginty now, it doesnt necessarily mean that that wouldnt change in the near future.
who knows, i might be desperate to fit in with those americans. (chances of me doing so would be low, for now. but i think everything is possible. so i wont rule this possibility out) and i think it would be most torturing if you cant find a single friend in some foreign country. ):
speaking of friends, i think i would miss my pals badly. the thought of splitting up and going into different polytechnics is already bad enough. im very sure i would miss them. and to top it up, i wont have a single friend there in america. at least in the beginning. aww man. ):
lastly, guns are not prohibited in america. which means i can die anytime there ! :D but hey, just as much as i dont wanna live in this world for too long, i dont think i wanna die before my 21st birthday either. 60 would be a good age to die. at least i think id still look quite pretty in my funeral photo. LOL.
noo, even if i wanna die, i wanna die in singapore. in my own home town. not somewhere far away. i want my ashes to be placed with my loved ones. i dont think i wanna be alone even after i die. that would be damn sad can. O.O sigh, i dont know lah. think there is a 50-50 chance of me going overseas. ohwells, we will just leave it all to God yeah. for He knows whats best for me ! :D
Saturday, September 23, 2006 ; 3:39 PM
another mail received from tickle. so its quiz time. :D
You've got something to say, and nothing feels better than letting the world hear it, whether that means you're into singing, writing, designing — or you're just the kind of woman who's not afraid to share her opinion on the issues that matter most to her. Why should you try to blend? You're a bold individual who definitely gets a kick out of standing out from the crowd. Sure, you might sometimes shock your friends with your loud-n-proud statements, but you know they are often impressed by your courage to show off who you really are. As for you, there's nothing better than the rush you get from being true to yourself and the causes you believe most deeply in.
Denise *, your emotions are triggered by your underlying belief in Honesty
In other words, your commitment to leading an honest life, and your belief in the truth, directly affect how, and how often, you experience certain feelings.For example, your test results indicate that you're most fulfilled when you can share all your thoughts and feelings — good or bad. That factor is directly related to your fundamental belief in honesty and the range of emotions it triggers.
(and tickle tried to cheat my money again. ive to pay a sum for the full report. no way am i gonna do so man)
Denise *, your handwriting reveals that you are Sociable
Your writing style reflects that you tend to feel connected to others, and that you help to facilitate that connection through your clear writing.
(omgosh, i never knew your handwriting can reveal something about you. hahaha anyway tickle tried to scam me again. whats up with the effing full reports)
You know that retail therapy is no joke. It works! Sometimes life's demands can make you feel like you have no choices, that you don't have as much control over things as you'd like. But when you set off to find yourself a terrific new outfit or that perfect touch for your home, you've got a world of choices. Thinking over your true tastes, trying different options on for size, and scoring that fabulous find are all little indulgences that erase life's irritations with ease. It's not that you're obsessed with the material world, it's just that buying the tiniest of trinkets or a gift for someone you care about can soothe your troubles away — without doing too much damage to your credit card statement.
LOL.
ahhh and i have sushi @ suntec city after tuition. it was soo good ! :D aww man, im seriously in love with japanese food. plus, id be going to hokkaido at the end of this year. meaning all the ingredients would be extremely fresh ! hip hip hurray. :D and not forgetting to mention that we will be going snow skiing too.
im so loving my life. :D :D :D
my cup is half full, not half empty !
and now its time to do junmings layout. :D
cant believe i agreed to help him.
Friday, September 22, 2006 ; 4:15 PM
lets start with a conversation between grace and myself. i swear, someone needs to point out to her that she is NUTS. i repeat, nuts. :D
deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: GRACE IS ONLINE ! OMG grace: yay for moderations! says: huh grace: yay for moderations! says: HAHAHAHHA deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: HUH YOURE NUTS. :D deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: SHOO !! grace: yay for moderations! says: you're nuts! deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: YOURE THE NUTSIE ! :D grace: yay for moderations! says: HAHAHA grace: yay for moderations! says: YOU'RE MAD deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: O.O deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: DONT YOU THINK MY CLOWN AND BUTTERFLY LOOK SO UBER HAPPY TOGETHER ? :D grace: yay for moderations! says: huh grace: yay for moderations! says: where grace: yay for moderations! says: ohhhhhh grace: yay for moderations! says: eh grace: yay for moderations! says: er grace: yay for moderations! says: well........... grace: yay for moderations! says: errrrrrrrrr deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: O.O grace: yay for moderations! says: hmmmmmmmmmm grace: yay for moderations! says: ehhhhhhhhhh deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: THEYRE MUCH HAPPIER TOGETHER. :D deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: WHATTT grace: yay for moderations! says: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grace: yay for moderations! says: mhhhhhhhhhhhh grace: yay for moderations! says: aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh grace: yay for moderations! says: well...................... deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: LOL YOURE NUTS LAHH. ADMIT IT ! :D grace: yay for moderations! says: you then ah! deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: IM PERFECTLY NORMAL OKAY. DONT ANYHOW SAY. :D grace: yay for moderations! says: AHEM grace: yay for moderations! says: AHEM deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: AHEM AHEM AHEM ! grace: yay for moderations! says: if you say *AHEM* so *ahem* grace: yay for moderations! says: COUGH COUGH deníse ! ♥ ` purple clown ! says: youre sick ? aww. go see the doctor then. grace: yay for moderations! says: -.-
oh, and not only is she nuts, but sick too. someone advice her to see the doctor. see, im such a nice friend. :D
hahahahaha.
everyone was mesmerised by my childhood beauty today. :D
yay ! who would ever imagine denise looked like that little innocent angel in the picture. :D not saying i look absolutely disastrous now. (i dont have that low self esteem ya know. LOL) but, everyone says i look totally different ! pfft. what are you girls trying to say man. :D ohwells as long as they can admit that im a guaikia, im fine with it and would even nod with them. come on you girls. admit it, im such a goody goody girl lah. :D
rarhh. until now i still cant send the pictures i took with daniel to my email. so i decided to pacify myself by taking a picture of the picture. :D
but the stupid picture is so effing blur. i cant stand it. ahhh. singtel is so screwed. so so screwed. i wanna slap their balls man. !#$%^&*@
annoying.
what else ? oh yes. remember i told you yesterday that i bought this pink butterfly pen together with charis ? :D
well here is a picture of it.
and today, justine, jacinth and i went to the popular bookstore again. this time, it wasnt the butterly pen which tempted me to buy them. but the clown ! :D hahaha its so uber cute. especially when you shake it to and fro. you can see its head nodding. and that brings great satisfaction especially when i ask the clown if im a good girl. :D
now here is the picture of my purple clown pen !
another reason why i bought it was because i felt my pink butterfly needed a companion. :D
tell me they look so happy together ! yay my money hasnt been wasted. :D
after which, i went skipping around in my house for awhile. and guess who i found ? MY TEDDY BEAR. :D hahaha no lah. its been in front of my all the time (by the side of my bed actually) never really took it to hug and sleep though. i find it an obstruction. but i swear my teddy is cute.
SEE ! :D
my teddy bear sure knows how to enjoy himself. haha. :D doesnt he look so effing relaxed ? and his poor owner has been pretty stressed recently. ):
NOW TELL MY TEDDY HE LOOKS DAMN HOT. :D LOL
okay enough shit. im off. this has been a really long entry i believe.
its been two weeks since that fateful day. enough tears have been shed for you. that weak denise will be gone, forever. :D im going to let you go and i guess im determined to do this. (unless the Lord thinks otherwise) like you wanted, we will just remain as good friends now. :D id regain back to my happy happy self. i can do this, i can do this ! yes i can. like i always tell others, determination is the key to success. :D
Thursday, September 21, 2006 ; 10:07 PM
cos baby, everything is fucked up straight from the heart. tell me, what do you do when it all falls apart ? gotta pick myself up. where do i start ? cos i cant turn to you when it all falls apart.
im beginning to fall in love with this song. (when it all falls apart - the veronicas) the lyrics are just so, its just like my life right now. but at least, i know who my real friends are. unlike the speaker.
oh dear, using the word 'speaker' makes me sound so literaturish. but hey, doesnt that show im guai cos i pay attention in class ? lol :D
; 12:01 PM
yay i bought this pink pen from the bookshop. :D its pink with gold glitters on the cover and on top is some fluffy thingy and a pink butterfly. :D its so pretty ! holding it makes you feel like a fairy godmother. LOL
and charis got the blue one with me !
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 ; 10:09 PM
trust me, teaching daniel definitely needs a hell lot of patience. we just dont work along the same frequency. he asks questions which are so, queer ?
and who would ever think of marking the points of a graph with a circle instead of the usual crosses ? O.O omg. save me. save him. he is so, i dont know.
dear Lord, please give me the patience to teach him. im so afraid i cant take it any longer and would just flare up at him. which has happened before. ):
; 5:28 PM
happy birthday charis ! :D
it has been a relatively loonggg day today, i swear. school only ended at 2.45pm for me. (cos im re-taking my chinese olevels, so i still have chinese lessons. pity me please) and i have chinese lessons on friday as well. but i signed up for the acs ib talk this friday so i can skip chinese lessons. yeahh ! :D otherwise i wouldnt sign up for the ib thing. am totally uninterested in it. after seeing my friends suffering in there. LOL.
so, it was amath this morning, physics practical, recess, chemistry then chinese. thankfully there was chemistry. thats equivalent to a free period. hahaha. :D amath early in the morning is crazy ! so cant focus. plus, we had a test early this morning. but its olevels standard, so i managed to get 26/30. yay ?! :D and physics practical was as usual boring. tell me, whats new ?
anyway, we had three humorous senarios during magsims class. not sure if it would tickle you, but it sure did in my case ! anyhow, here it goes. :D
1
magsim : can you (refering to the five of us - me, jacinth, justine, melody and meryl) all see from the back or not ?
melody : yes.
magsim : sure or not ?
melody : huh ? mrs sim you cannot see is it ?
OMG. what a blunt question. :D
2
magsim : am i talking to the wall ?
gina : yes. uh, NO NO !!
LOL as a prefect, shouldnt you pay more attention in class ? :D
3
(okay magsim was trying to get some of us to answer questions as most of us were pratically dozing off. attempt sitting in her class for an hour and you would understand why)
* magsim asks a question and then randomly calls out a name.
magsim : esther ..
* melissa starts answering the question, even though she wasnt the one being called. hahaha.
magsim : how many esthers are there ?
whole class : aa - lottt !
melissa : yah. like C = C double bond, etc. (refering to the polymers. hey thats part of our syllabus ! organic chemistry !)
LOL joker. but at least it shows you studied, a bit. :D
and i dont know what to do in poly. ): initially i said it was either biomedical science or marketing yeah. cos those two are the only ones which interest me at the moment. after i visited singapore poly and ngee ann poly this year during their open house.
but my mom disagrees to me taking up biomedical science and would prefer me to take marketing. but my dad disagrees to me taking up marketing and instead, prefers me to take up biomedical science. LOL my parents are getting me stuck in a dilemma !
and daddy went on and on in the car this morning after i told him i was planning to take up marketing. (mind you, i was trying to sleep. was effing tired. slept at like, 1am last night) mommy thinks i wouldnt have the patience to sit in the lab for hours, and i agree with her.
so what do i do ?
will be going for temasek polys open house end of this year, after my olevels just to check out the courses they have there. maybe there would be something else which interests me. :D who knows. only problem though is the distance. so far. id just die halfway on the train.
okay shall end here. my asthma is acting up again. can hear myself wheezing. and im starting to cough again. gotta go take my medicine now. pfft. ): bye.
but first, a song. :D this band is really eccentric. all their other song lyrics are vulgar, except for this one. "Lord Give Me A Sign" which seems like a prayer ? i dont know. but i quite like their songs. very hiphop, rather loud.
"Lord Give Me A Sign"
[Intro:] Yeah.. Uh In the name of Jesus (thats right) No weapon formed against me shall prosper (preach) And every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn (preach) (Lord give me a sign) For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. (preach) and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. (preach) Amen
[Verse 1] Lord Give me a Sign! I really need to talk to you Lord Since the last time we talked the walk has been hard Now I know you havent left me But I feel like im alone Im a big boy now but im still not grown And Im still goin threw it Pain and the hurt Soaking up trouble like rain in the dirt And I know! Only I can stop the rain Wit just the mention of my saviors name IN THE NAME OF JESUS! Devil I rebuke you for what I go threw And tryin make me do what I used to But all that stops right here As long as the Lords in my life I will have no fear I will know no pain from the light to the dark I will show no shame spit it right from the heart Cuz its right from the start But you held me down And aint nothin they can tell me now Lord give me a sign!
[Hook:] Let me know whats on your mind Let me know what im gone find Its all the time Show me how to teach the mind Show me how to reach the blind Lord give me a sign! Show me what I gots to do To bring me closer to you Cuz im gonna go through What ever you want me to Just let me know what to do Lord give me a sign!
[Verse 2:] Please show me something Im tired of talkin to him Knowin he frontin Cryin bout life aint nothing But you either be the one mad cuz you trapped, or the one hunting Trapped in your own mind waitin on the Lord Or huntin wit the word that cuts like a sword The spoken word is stronger than the strongest man Carries the whole world like the strongest hand Through the trials and tribulations you never let us down JESUS! I know your here with us now JESUS! I know your still wit us now Keep it real wit us now I wanna feel show me how Let me take your hand, guide me Il'l walk slow but stay right beside me Devil's tryna find me Hide me, hold up I take that back Protect me and give me the strength to fight back!
[Hook:] Let me know whats on your mind Let me know what im gone find Its all the time Show me how to teach the mind Show me how to reach the blind Lord give me a sign! Show me what I gots to do To bring me closer to you Cuz im gonna go through What ever you want me to Just let me know what to do Lord give me a sign!
[Verse 3:] Life or death Live or die I will never live a lie Im goin there cuz I try I wont quit until I die Im gone make it wrong or right Make it through the darkest night When the morning comes you'll see All I have is God in me (Lord give me a sign!)
[Outro:] No weapon formed against me shall prosper For this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord In the name of jesus Lord give me a sign Amen
extremely quirky ? i know.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 ; 5:29 PM
stupid singtel is still giving me problems.!@#$%^&* ohwells.
today has been pretty slack. been mapling since i came home. :D i know i shouldnt be. but its really tempting. hahaha. plus, i aint in the mood to study yet. so there isnt any point in me sitting down infront of a whole stack of books and just staring into space yeah. might as well do something which pleases me. in any case, i still have time. and if i start too early, i would end up slacking during the examination period itself. or just slightly before. so i will plan my time wisely and make sure i give my best (or at least try to) for the olevels. :D
oh yeah, i bought the invisible pen in the bookshop today. :D :D :D hahaha these little things cheer me up ! and i want the huuge eeyore sitting on the shelf. argh. but its like, close to fifteen bucks. and its not like i hug my little soft toys to sleep. my toys are all around. sitting in front of my table, inside the cupboard, everywhere ! lol so yeah. but i think id buy the beanie. the tigger one. so cute ! it costs like six bucks only. that, to make my day, why not ? :D
and justine gave me something today ! (shall not write it out here in case someone wants to steal it ! LOL kidding lah. it doesnt cost much but it means a lot, at least to me) love ya pal. :D :D :D and you are right. friendships are foreverr. id remember all you girls even as i leave school. and we will still keep in contact yeah. hmm i think id write a message to everyone in b3 after my olevels. a goodbye message. ):
cant believe im already in secondary four. in a blink of an eye (less than 3 months more), im leaving school. its been close to ten years. we first started off as really innocent kids, made friends, grew up together, had our fun as a class or cohort, went through all thick and thin, and now we are splitting up. how sad. ): those memories would be kept close to my heart. mg rules ! :D
Monday, September 18, 2006 ; 8:54 PM
received an email from amber. some fast facts. (for girls) :D
1. Did you know kissing is healthy? 2. Bananas are good for menstrual pain. 3. It is good to cry. 4. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 5. 94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. 6. Lying is actually unhealthy. 7. Only apply mascara to your top lashes. 8. Its actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you! 9. Its impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed! 10. 89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move. 11. Chocolate will make you feel better! 12. Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing. 13. A good friend never judges. 14. A good foundation will hide hickeys! Not that you have any. 15. Boys arent worth your tears. 16. We ALL love suprises!!
indeed many of the points listed there are true. and omg. i cant send the pictures i took with daniel on my phone to my email. the mms is screwed up. stupid singtel. freaking shittt.
; 7:05 PM
happy birthday munch ! :D
sigh. today hasnt been a good day at all. in fact, its one of the worst out of these 11 days. and still counting. you see, on top of my relationship problems, some girl in my class very much annoyed me. and noo, its not just me. but many others as well. just that they dont show it. and i do. its already tiring enough for me to hide my feelings in front of everyone else about my issue with him, so i dont think i wanna do the same for school affairs.
last night (or rather, early this morning) i made a decision. one which i terribly am afraid id regret. but for now, it seems like a really wise decision. i guess i will just see how things go. am sure the Lord wouldnt give me an obstacle in which i cant overcome, even though its as though He is testing my level of tolerance now. no more midnight phone calls from today onwards. tolerance. determination. perseverance. :D
and what annoyed me last night was that daniel was fighting with me to use the phone. like, dude, its the last time im using the house phone, so if you dont mind please let me have it. and he just wanted to chat with this new girl called charmaine. she sounds like a nice girl though. spoke to her over the phone for a short period of time. but, still immature. so im not really for it if my brother wants to enter a relationship with her. just as much as i want a sister in law yeah.
so, as i was saying this girl pissed me off. yeah. honestly, i wasnt against her at all at the start of this year. but i guess people change according to their environments. i guess given a position in class, obviously the pride within her rises and thus, her actions would show a different side of her. but hey, even charis isnt like this. actually, i think charis is nice. and im glad we selected her as our class chairperson. :D
okay, lets have a view of roughly what happened today in class. it was meant to be a joke. i swear. so melissa and i were saying our results were really bad so we will just go ite lah. (hey its true. if your results are that bad, youre only left with one option - to go ite. so just face it. what so bad about it ?) and then this girl too went "count me in !" and she started laughing. we all did. come on.
thats why, i dont see why you have to give that speech in front of the class today. especially the part when we jokingly talked about going to ite. and like "with this kinda results, we might as well just jump down" and then we start laughing. like, hello, you ought to know we are just joking about it. and its also a form of lightening the atmosphere. i mean, everyone looked so tensed. so engrossed with their horrendous results. and youre lecturing us about joking (becos you thought we were serious, but that obviously isnt the case ?)
and then you say we shouldnt be overly upset about the results. instead look at the positive side (which i totally agree for once) hey, so what do you want us to do ? change our attitudes and moods to the way you want it to be immediately after receiving our results and digesting it ? oh puh-lease. seriously, come on. who the fuck do you think you are ? even if there should be anyone giving us the strength now, it should be none other than the Lord. yes, we appreciate the fact that you actually care. but dont you think its such a wrong time ? and like, at this time, after you pissed many people off already ? like i mentioned above, im not the only one. there are many others. just that they arent showing it.
socio-political stuff. argh whatever. i wash my hands off. why should i care about all these. just focus on my studies lah. :D hahaha. but for now, id just chat with colin. release all my stress. like i said before, he makes a really good bitching partner !
Sunday, September 17, 2006 ; 6:01 PM
yet another day has passed.
nothing exciting has happened so there aint anything to blog about. but daniel downloaded the 'when it all falls apart' by the veronicas. never knew he was into music. i mean, that song might be pretty old, but awhile back it became popular. so yeah. get what i mean ? no.
and my dad just went "i bought one what, of cos nice lah" omg, that explains why i always go around saying "im a guaikia" LOL father and daughter alike ! both thick-skinned and aint afraid of showing it. :D who cares about how people look at you. just be yourself !
"When It All Falls Apart" - The Veronicas
I'm having the day from hell, It wasn't all going so well (before you came) And you told me you needed space, With a kiss on the side my face (not again) And not to mention (the tears I shed) But I should have kicked your (ass instead) I need intervention Attention to stop temptation to scream
Cause baby Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up where do I start Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No
Don't know where I parked my car Don't know who my real friends are (anymore) I put my faith in youWhat a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours) And not to mention (I drank too much) I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch) I need intervention Attention to stop temptation to scream
Cause baby Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up where do I start Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No
Can it be easier? Can I just change my life? Cause it just seems to go bad everytime Will I be mending? Another one ending once again
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up where do I start Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No [x2]
Falls apart Gotta pick myself up 'cause things are messed up
indeed life is pretty messed up when everything falls apart. but no matter what it is, life goes on, right ? :D
and i just replied ambers email. its really very much easier said than done. although i gave her advices, i know its not as easy as it is. but in any case, cheer up amber. guys arent worth it. you know that. and i know it too. :D
smile !
Saturday, September 16, 2006 ; 8:54 PM
its days like these when you dont feel like living anymore. yeah.
am puzzled. wonder why i allowed myself to get such a situation.
in any case, i will leave it all to God. just hope He will pull me out of this shit. :D
had tuition in the morning. so had to drag myself outta bed around 10am. believe it or not, i slept at 4am last night. (or rather, this morning) was on the phone with him. wont fill the details in here. but am still in a dilemma. did i do the right thing ? maybe i was being stupid. oh wait, whats new. girls do the dumbest thing ever when they really like or love a guy yeah.
anyway, tuition was pretty fun as usual. sean koh made me laugh hard enough. havent had much 'true' laughter lately. so thank you. :D and i managed to bluff ms lai about my results. told her i got 58/100 for my mathematics and 36/100 for my amathematics. hahaha. i got the inverse of the two numbers lah.
oh, heard from sean that adriel is looking for amathematics tuition. HELLO CHERIE, LET HIM JOIN OUR CLASS INSTEAD. HAHAHA. I SWEAR ITS GONNA BE FUN. dont steal him away. the more people in class, the merrier ! and the more annoyed ms lai would get. lol
and right now im chatting with enggie again. on msn. im so frustrated.
argh, nevermind. NEXT.
oh yeah. and a surprise i had this morning too. found this tube of mascara on my table. :D yayness ! cosmetics make denise a happy happy soul. my aunt gave it to me.
what else ? uh, i ate at waffletown again for lunch. it was damn crowded please. like, every table was filled with people. so our family had to split tables. i sat with daniel while my parents sat together. i love to see them together. being together is really, sweet.
okay im off. on the phone with melody now.
Friday, September 15, 2006 ; 4:56 PM
i guess im letting him go, i guess im moving on.
holding on is too tiring. all the pain is not worth it.
but then again, its really so hard to let it all go.
come on, give me the strength dear Lord. :]
maybe i should just avoid him at all cost. yeah.
i thought it was possible to be friends even after a break up. but i guess i was wrong. very wrong. never actually thought it would hurt this much.
was it a mistake right from the start ?
Thursday, September 14, 2006 ; 5:14 PM
hello one and all.
its supposedly careers fair week, but today is like the only day which we actually had a 'full' day on it. yesterday was just about three hours of talk and tomorrow would be given about that amount of time too. yeah.
psst; i wore my black dress again today ! :D :D :D hahaha. i like the flowyness. although some would say that kind of dress makes people look as if theyre pregnant. but hey, comfort or impression ? comfort for sure.
anyway, back to the topic. uh the fair has been fairly interesting so far. LOL. especially the DISC report. i think those two reports are really cool. one is on the values and the other on personality. (will talk more about it later, towards the end of my entry or something. just list down my report yeah)
lets see. hmm i went for the medicine & business and marketing programme today. we were given 6 choices. but those two really appealed to me so i selected them. well, must say the speaker on medicine impressed me. at least she knows how to crack jokes. so totally unlike the two ladies who staged for the business and marketing one. i swear, they cant connect with their audience. seriously. they laugh at their own cold jokes and honestly, i think they were more of promoting their interior design company instead of telling us what business and marketing really is all about. or the facts which we needed to know. they do have the knowledge on business and marketing. just that it didnt come through.
right now, im still undecided on which course id be taking in the near future in polytechnic. dont even know which poly id be going into. most probably singapore poly though. unless i cant enter it, then i would go over to ngee ann or temasek. :D problem is, i dont like some people in ngee ann. and on top of that, the environment isnt conducive at all. i need to focus in poly, so as to ensure i can get into the singapore university. (whoa, look whos talking) as for temasek, the only fault with it is its location. way too far from my home. but my pals would most probably be going there. so i wouldnt mind, i guess. :D
as for the course, its in between biomedical science and marketing or retail management. i think business is fun, on the whole. but biomedical science is equally fun. imagine playing with the cancer cells. :D oh so cute ! but researching on cancer cells would mean i would definitely need at least a doctorate. and am not sure if im even capable of that. just look at my academic results. theyre like shit.
anyway here is the report. im sick of updating. currently chatting with enggie on msn and its getting me all worked up, even though its not really my problem. but since the problem relates to my own personal life, yes it does affect me.
the values style report
intensity indicator; loyalty - you will test boundaries and not just conform to accepted practices. equality - you willingly yield position or leadership by conceding, submitting or positioning. personal freedom - you are inquiring and questioning to test one's knowledge or purpose. you will express doubt or uncertainty about practices or policies. justice - you are accomodating - you make things "fit" by adjustment, adaptation, reconcillation, and performing favors or services.
my highest energy is towards personal freedom. :D - i take action in order to be emotionally or psychologically secure. - i enjoy having enough control of situations to "do it my way." - people may say i am a non-conformist. - i prefer to exhibit my own style rather than follow fads and trends. - i dont mind challenging things that conflict with my viewpoint. - i tend to focus on my pursuit of various life experiences.
focus : self-fulfilment outlook : seeks personal goals and aspirations goal : self-satisfaction fear : loss of personal well-being workstyle : self-expressed individuality
the personality style report
main report; all about you
advisor
denise is an optimistic individual. she is the type of person who loves exploring new places or things and a wide variety of experiences. she tends to display a natural charisma that draws others to her charm. denise is a very encouraging person; others are drawn to her because they find her inspirational.
recognizing the value of a good relationship, denise is very patient and caring when relating to others. she is even-paced; and denise usually remains calm and relaxed, even in situations that may ruffle some others. she likes the role of a peacemaker, when working through problems, denise tries to rely on successful strategies that have proven results.
denise will usually test ideas against proven standards in an effort to be inventive; and can be very creative as she identifies new solutions to problems. she is an original and creative thinker, but acts in a rational way to make sure desired results are achieved in an orderly manner; although she is not afraid to "break the mold" if that appears to be the key to a solution.
denise prefers to work through problems by analyzing things that worked in the past. she is willing to follow another person's lead if they display adequate ability and if denise has confidence in their ability. she is someone who is able to lead, if necessary; but usually prefers to wait and see if another person volunteers first.
(i tell you, this justine and melody laughed non-stop when they read the second paragraph of my report. so insulting lah. i am a peacemaker who is patient and caring and i usually remain calm okay. hahaha)
next.
personality traits; your keys to motivation
advisors impress most people with their warmth, sympathy and understanding. they possess a casual kind of poise in most social situations. many people will come to them because advisors are seen as good listeners. they are very demonstrative and their emotions are clear to those around them. they will not attempt to force their ideas on others; in fact, they may be too indirect in expressing feelings or issuing orders. they tend to take criticism of their work as a personal affront. they can be overly tolerant and patient with those who are non-producers in the workplace. advisors prefer to deal with people on a personal, intimate basis in a low pressure situation. they will take advantage of every moment they are given up until the end to get jobs done. they need personal attention and compliments for assignments well done. they love to talk to and about people; they want social intimacy with everyone they meet. while advisors are very stable, they are also flexible and can fit into almost any environment. they are seen as neighbourly, as they seem to be accepting of others, even if they inside are judging others with the strong convictions that they hold. once a bond is formed, advisors have no problem talking about personal subjects and extending trust. it may take a while to obtain that point of trust. advisors are family oriented - they work toward stability in these relationships. they are persistent in working to accomplish goals they have set.
motivating goals : to maintain trusting friendships; security evaluates others by : positive acceptance; looks for the good in people influences others by : personal relationship insights; performing services value to team : stable, dependable, good listener, patient, broad friendships reaction to pressure : becomes overly flexible; may hold grudges greatest fears : rejection, loss of relationship and social recognition areas for improvement : take initiative, develop a sense of urgency, set realistic deadlines, establish priorities
communication tips; relating to others
general characteristics - enthusiastic; fun loving - trusting; optimistic - persuasive; talkative - relational; people oriented
value to team - values relationships and the need for people - great encourager; good friend - motivates others to achieve - postive sense of humor - negotiates conflicts; peacemaker
possible weaknesses - may not put enough priority to tasks - social time and friendships dominate time - tends to overuse gestures and facial expressions (justine was mean. she went BLEAH then sticked out her tongue. cos thats what i did during my english prelims oral. hahaha stupid) - does not like to be isolated from others
greatest fear - loss of social acceptance; change (especially in relationships)
motivated by - praise, popularity and acceptance - a friendly environment - freedom from many rules and regulations - other people available to handle details
ideal environment - practical procedures - few conflicts and arguments - freedom from controls and details - a forum to express ideas - group activities in professional and social environments
remember, an advisor may want - social esteem and acceptance, freedom from details and control, people to talk to, positive working conditions, recognition for abilities, opportunity to motivate and influence others, loyalty from relationships
when communicating with an advisor, DO - build a favourable, friendly environment - give opportunity for them to verbalize about ideas, people and their intuition - assist them in developing ways to transfer talk into action - share testimonials about others relating to proposed ideas - allow time for stimulating, sociable activities - submit details in writing, but dont dwell on them - develop a participative relationship - create incentives for following through on tasks
when communicating with an advisor, DONT - eliminate social time - be overly aggressive or confrontational - ignore their ideas or accomplishments - make them work alone
while analyzing information, an advisor may - be a very good listener and encourager - tends to dismiss facts as irrelevant - fail to begin an action plan - discuss the situation with others
advisors possess these positive characteristics in teams - instinctive communicators - participative managers - influence and inspire - motivate the team - spontaneous and agreeable - respond well to the unexpected - create an atmosphere of well-being - enthusiastic - will support the leader - express ideas well - work well with other people - make good spokespersons - will offer opinions - persuasive - have a positive attitude - accomplish goals through people - good sense of humor - accepting of others - strong in brainstorming sessions
personal growth for advisors - rely on facts more than instincts - be more results oriented - exercise control over your actions, words and emotions - focus more on details and facts - remember to slow down your pace for other team members - talk less; listen more - consider and evaluate ideas from other team members - concentrate on following through with tasks
oh, i forgot to add. im an IS person. :D justine and melody are both the same - SC jacinth is SI and meryl is CS ! :D yepps.
D -- measures how decisive, authoritative and direct you typically are. words that may describe the intensity of your "D" are: mild gentle or kind in disposition; not severe or harsh quiet not easily excited or distubed; quiet disposition reliant influenced; directed by others modest not forward, but shy and reserved
I -- measures how talkative, persuasive and interactive you typically are. words that may describe the intensity of your "I" are: enthusiastic inspirational; visionary; intense gregarious fond of company of others; sociable persuasive having the power to persuade; influencing emotional easily aroused to emotion; quick to weep or show anger
S -- measures your desire for security, peace and your ability to be a team player. words that may describe the intensity of your "S" are: passive submissive; influenced without response patient enduring pain, trouble; refusing to be provoked loyal faithful to persons and ideals that one is obligated to defend predictable behavior, actions and reactions can be easily foretold team-person enjoys being part of a group, working toward a common goal
C - measures your desire for structure, organization and details. words that may describe the intensity of your "C" are: bold open, bold resistance to authority determined resolute in getting one's own way; immovable
best career match
- actor - administrator in human resource areas - advertising agent - arbitrator - artist - auctioneer - broadcaster - coach - comedian (justine laughed at this too okay. she is so mean lah) - communications - cosmetologist - disk jockey - entertainer - fashion designer - flight attendant - government lobbyist, legislator - guide for tours and resorts - host, hostess - hotel/restaurant manager - instructor, trainer in education or business - insurance agent - interior decorator - interpreter, translator - journalist - marketing manager - medical and health services manager - model - nurse - peace corps volunteer - public relations specialist - public speaker - real estate sales - reporter - sales engineer - sales person : various industries - teacher : primary, secondary, post secondary - telephone marketing and sales - training and development - travel agent - variety artist - wedding consultant - writer, editor
(the "wedding consultant" struck me. but i thought id probably cause more divorces than patches. hahaha so nevermind)
it feels so much better after i spoke to aaron on msn. shared with him my own personal problem. cos when enggie told me about his friend, i got super frustrated. and so happen, aaron talked to me. so i decided to just share it with him.
i really dont understand some men.
if you arent ready for that relationship, dont tell the girl you like her. its only gonna hurt her in the end. and likewise in my situation, dont tell me you want a second chance even though you yourself arent ready for it. its pointless. at least know what you want, then make your decision and stick to it. be determined after youve decided. if you cant decide, dont even go onto the next step. even though i must admit im really rash, but if i were a guy, i wouldnt take relationships so lightly. whats worse, enggies friend likes another girl. so fuck him lah. we girls arent your toy. we arent here as and when you want us to be here.
fuck all men.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 ; 6:38 PM
youre sick and tired of everything ? so am i. sometimes, i really dont know what you want. you puzzle me all the time. first you say this, then you say that, then it goes back to this and then it goes over to that. im just gonna give up on everything. pretend it all never happened before.
and like colin said, love isnt as innocent, once it was tainted.
; 8:06 AM
i swear justine is one joker.
we are currently in the library, playing with the computers.
so i was already inside, and turned on the computer i wanted to use.
and then she came in. and instead of turning on the computer beside mine (which she wanted to use), she turned my computer off. LOL super funny lah she.
sigh, im really confused right now. i dont know whats the right thing to do. if i pick either one of them, i might regret what i have chosen later on. this is killing me. ohwells. just give me a sign Lord. help me.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 ; 5:35 PM
praise the Lord !
i scored like, exceptionally well this time for my mathematics ? probably the highest, if you exclude all the tests. just looking at the major examinations itself. yepps. got a 85.625/100.
first came paper one, which i got 69/80. when i saw that mark, i wasnt too satisfied with it. definitely could have done better cos the careless mistakes were as usual there. just not as many this time round.
but paper two came as a huge surprise. like 85/100. never expected myself to score that kind of marks for paper two. i mean, i told everyone that it was pretty difficult. so when i got the paper back, i was like. wtf ? did the teacher count wrongly or something ? so i re-counted the total score over and over again just to make sure there wasnt any mistake. and thankfully, there wasnt. :D
so hip hip hurray ! 85.5/100 for my emath. quite sure i would die for amath though. still hoping for an a1 anyhow. hoping. i repeat, hoping. hahahaha.
sigh, am sort of chatting with him on msn now. still friends. and it still hurts. but the pain will go away in due of time yes ? or at least, i hope that is the case.
okay, put on a smile. today has been a good day. :D thank you, our Heavenly Father. youre awesome !
oh, but i think im bound to fail my physics. and chinese. lol since when was denise good at chinese ? never man. my whole family flunks it. it runs in our blood.
Monday, September 11, 2006 ; 6:00 PM
happy birthday to devester and ms ho ! :D (okay, doubt both of them will see this though)
anyway today was sooo good. i managed to laugh quite a hell lot. especially during the period of time where the biology girls had to go over to the hall for the going through of answers. yeah. (sadly, we physics girls would be suffering tomorrow, while the bio girls enjoy themselves. rarhh)
but this morning didnt kick off too well. mommy woke up early, thus she sat in the car with us while daddy drove daniel and i to school. as most of you would have already expected, she was quacking throughout the entire time. i swear, i hate it most when someone provokes me early in the morning. she of all people should jolly know that well. wait, not like she cares anyway. she still does her thing. and you know what ? i think most mothers are addicted to nagging. yikes.
and in addition, after the morning assembly, those who are retaking the mother tongue paper at the end of the year would have to head for the lecture theatre to go through the chinese preliminary paper. urgh, that means we had to skip chapel just becos of that. and meryl indirectly commented on it by saying "dont they care about our spiritual well-being too ?" i so agree with her. i really miss chapel. and i highly doubt there would be another chance where the whole school cohort can sit together and worship the Lord. cant believe im actually missing it even though ive yet to leave school. imagine if ive left. oh dear, wouldnt even wanna think about it. so anyway, i just replied jacinths letter during chinese. cant be bothered to concentrate on whatever shit the teacher is talking about man. after all, its not like i can understand the bulk of it. hahas.
after which was going through of the biology paper and that time was super funny. at first, sher was just teaching jamie and faith the verse part of the dance. and omfg, there was one part where she actually bounced up the chair and did this pose. which totally resembled hard gay. immediately burst out laughing. LOL and after i told jamie, she couldnt do that pose when she attempted to jump on the chair to do that pose. hahaha. super funny lah. and then when sher found out what i thought about the pose, she starting shaking her ass like the hard gay guy. omgosh, super funny can.
plus, at that time, justine and i were like trying to do amath. so it ended up that both of us couldnt even do a single question at the end of the day. hmm actually, im not too sure about her, but i know i didnt even get one pathetic question done. bleah. looks like my power of concentration isnt very strong yeah. and thats what i was trying to tell huiling last night. either i completely forget about him to focus or i need to be with him. there is no in between. meaning no holding on. cos i cant concentrate that way. but she thinks otherwise. one thing that made me change my mind was this statement "although it will hurt, but holding on gives you a clearer answer on whether he is worth it or not" and know what ? she is right. i do wanna know if he is worth it. so i decided id just hold on. even though chances are, im going to get myself hurt. but, its either a you-hurt-me-real-badly-so-i-can-pick-myself-up-again-quickly or dont-hurt-me-at-all. yeah. to cut it short, its either extreme.
as for chemistry and social studies, the five of us (me, justine, jacinth, melody and meryl) sat right at the back of the hall and basically chatted our way through the two and a half hours. it was really boring. thank goodness we were born with mouths. otherwise i would have died from boredom by now. so, we chatted mostly on life after the olevels. to be more precise, where we would be heading individually. to our different polytechnics or junior colleges. one thing that would be for sure is that these girls would be kept close to my heart and they would forever and always be my bestest buddies alive. :D hahaha i sure have many best friends. enggie, sheril, and the list goes on.
then jacinth asked where the chain is now. cos she knew i was troubled over it. told her its still in my wallet. honestly, i dont know what to do with it. i will just keep praying that the Lord would guide me to do what is right and that i will just try my best to focus on my studies instead. i mean, look, its only practical and down to earth this way. my olevels should be placed as my first priority at this point in time. yeah. and i will just stick to my goal now. marry a rich and dying old man. :D but he had better survive for the next five years. if not, i wont get all the money man. hahahaha. youve gotta be married to your significant other for at least five years. otherwise no cash would be given to you at all when he/she dies. thats the law. so next time, if my old hubby dies exactly after five years, we all know why.
oh yeah. then i joked with her after that too. and just becos of that, she slapped me on my arm lah. lol but nevermind lah, not like its painful or anything. plus, its just her natural instinct. i bet she didnt even know she hit me. am not surprised if she doesnt even know that she whacks people on their arm whenever they say something wrong.
jacinth : huh, then if like that, how are you gonna get kids ? denise : hmm maybe adopt ? no wait. i think id probably have just 4 partners. then i should be able to bear 2 or 3 kids. hahahha.
and then she just smacked me. stupid girl. actually, i wont have 4 partners. 5 is a better number. LOL no lah, im kidding. having too many partners might lead to stds. and i dont think i wanna contract any of those. i need to keep healthy so that in the future, i can still go on shopping trips every week and spend like nobodys business. :D and therefore, a rich and dying old man is essential. start looking for one ! hahahhaa.
what else ? oh, i got 30/40 for my chemistry mcq. although comparing with the smarties in mgs, its nothing. but am sure its above average for the other half of us (refering to those in the b band) so am thankful to God. praise Him ! and my mom thinks i was just lucky. eh, i put in some effort too okay. lol
alright, it has been a long entry. till then !
* psst; i have no idea when i will next update. gotta focus more on my studies. we shall all run the last lap with a loud bang at the end ! :D but since im pretty addicted to blogging, i think i will blog every alternate days or something. will try lah. you know my mom. hahaha.
Sunday, September 10, 2006 ; 6:39 PM
got tha youtube link from sher. on the dance we did the other day. omg it looked really quite screwed. we cant dance. or maybe its just youtubes fault lah. made us all look so rigid in our actions. like fast moving robots.
oh and i found the one which jamie took while we were doing up ms ho's car on teachers day celebration. hahahaha. didnt know she took it. but anyway, here it is.
im still missing you.
; 2:18 PM
am currently on msn, and coocoo (colin) showed me this video on youtube. he seems to surf that website a hell load. anyway here it goes. its basically for all those who cant speak hokkein for nuts. like me. :D
but honestly, i couldnt understand most of the hokkein still. ohwells, will persevere and learn it well enough to communicate in a civilised manner of cos. hahahaha. :D
; 1:56 PM
aww, i love my dress. its so pretty. black is so my colour. :D
hmm baby kaylyns birthday bash was not too bad. but her 6kg cake delayed by an hour. so we had to wait, patiently. and during that time, i laid by the poolside, looking up at the sky while the clouds went by. its interesting watching those clouds. and suddenly, i just felt as though we were like those clouds. our life journey began where we were created. and the wind, guided us where to go. just like how God would show us the way.
at that point in time, i was messaging him too. forty hours had passed since we last communicated. i missed him so. thus messaged him. though i know that might not have been the right thing to do. if i really wanted to forget him, i know i should have restrained myself from talking to him. but i guess the temptation was there. so, ohwells.
ahh and on our way back, perfect ten played el nin-yo ! :D whoots, that song is le-hot please. the lyrics are below.
El Nin - YO ! by tata young.
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder Comes down faster, faster You're burning HOT!
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO!
Can you feel the fire in my eyes? What my lips desire can't be denied I can take you to a place where the sun don't shine Ohowowo, I'll melt your mind
You could say I'm old fashioned But a circuit snaps when the temperature rises I'm all consumed by passion
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready on not, open up
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO!
Don't leave me till I'm satisfied I won't say no to something I haven't tried I won't object to my hands and feet being tied This girl don't know 'bout being shy
You could say I'm old fashioned But a circuit snaps when the temperature rises I'm all consumed by passion
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready on not, open up And let it rain
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO!
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder(What) Comes down faster, faster(What) You're burning HOT!
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready on not, open up C'mon and let it rain
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready on not, open up And let it rain
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO! You got my temperature rising Like El Nin - YO!
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder Comes down faster, faster You're burning HOT!
i swear tata young is hot stuff. :D love her.
oh, i might go shopping again later. for some branded goods. mom says there are some real but cheap ones (okay theyre not exactly that cheap, but cheaper than those you get from paragon or takashimaya and such yeah). so yay ? :D but i dont actually feel like going. i mean, i dont really have much mood. plus, i dont need these stuff. not like im gonna wear them often or something. so we will just see how things go. yepps. im off ! telly time.
Saturday, September 09, 2006 ; 3:01 PM
"Why Cry" - The Panic Channel
I've been feeling lonesome I'm down, don't know what to do I let you lie to me Plant seeds inside To see them grow Only to leave them to die
I learned my lesson I won't be forgetting I won't give my heart out Without suspecting Why cry Why cry Why cry For you
I've been lost and finding Out that I've been such a fool You thought you'd stick around Until the day you found Someone to make me obsolete
I learned my lesson I won't be forgetting I won't give my heart out Without suspecting Why cry Why cry Why cry Why cry For you
I learned my lesson I won't be forgetting I won't give my heart out Without suspecting
I learned my lesson I won't be forgetting I won't give my heart out Without suspecting Why cry Why cry Why cry For you
I learned my lesson I won't be forgetting I won't give my heart out Without suspecting Why cry Why cry Why cry For you
each time i feel like crying, i look at myself in the mirror and then ask "why cry ?" i dont know either.
anyway baby kaylyns birthday party will be held later on ! am gonna wear that new dress which i bought from topshop about two days ago.
and its been, 37 hours since we last communicated. i really miss him. but what can i do ? nothing, i guess. nothing.
; 10:45 AM
thank God, really thank God. i managed to sleep earlier last night. from 4am, to 2am and now its midnight ! :D much earlier than before. am glad. and the amount of tears flowing down has reduced too.
but i had a stupid nightmare. (well he was inside it) hahaha. woke up and found myself crying. then after about five minutes, i was like. eh ? its just a dream. o.o lol how dumb. ohwells.
okay tuition time ! will update more later. :D i just love blogging.
Friday, September 08, 2006 ; 4:46 PM
youre right.
i have changed.
to someone who will now protect herself from getting badly hurt again. by you. once is enough. my heart wont be able to withstand another blow.
; 3:54 PM
its 8th of september. sigh.
we had a rather long conversation last night, via sms of cos. (wouldnt want anyone to hear me crying for hours. thats like so, urgh) initially i was very frustrated. i couldnt understand why he had to still tell me all those, and deemed it as just another pack of lies. but after awhile, i got hold of myself and calmed down.
as usual, many things ran through my mind. so much so that i even contradicted myself while replying him. so i told myself, i will just indirectly tell him somethings. and whether he understands it or not, i will just leave it to God. sure, deep inside me i wish he gets my point. but you know, there is really no point forcing a relationship. if we are meant to be, we will be.
okay, this might make me sound like a staunch christian, but i really believe that the Lord would work in His own ways and im very sure He knows what is best for me. and so i will leave everything unto His hands. for all i might know, this setback was planned in preparation of something on in the near future. who knows. :D
anyway unhappy things aside.
went to melodys house today. :D supposed to study. but ended up doing alot of chatting, using of the computer and even watching the harry potter vcd. hahaha how disciplined we are. oh and i bought a packet of potato chips at the cheers outlet near her place. and and, HERSHEYS KISSABLES TOO ! :D hahaha. theyre so cute. melody says ive eaten it before. but i dont even remember eating them. blah, heck it. my memory is failing on me. whatever. id just binge tonight. who cares about the fats gained after which. :D
and here is a song which lyrics struck me as it was being played on my wma. here it goes. (yet another breaking benjamin song. yeah yeah, i know. they hella rock. forced melody to listen to "the diary of jane" a couple of times earlier this afternoon. hahaha poor her)
"Until The End"
So clever, Whatever, I'm done with these endeavors. Alone I walk the winding way. (Here I stay) It's over, No longer, I feel it growing stronger. I'll live to die another day, Until I fade away.
[Chorus] Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate. It's not enough, it never is. But I will go on until the end.
Surround me, It's easy To fall apart completely. I feel you creeping up again. (In my head) It's over, No longer, I feel it growing colder. I knew this day would come to end, So let this life begin.
Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate. It's not enough, it never is. But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way. I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
Living is hard enough Without you fucking up.
Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate. It's not enough, it never is. But I will go on until the end.
I've lost my way. I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.
U-uh, u-uh
The final fight I'll win, The final fight I'll win, The final fight I'll win, But I will go on until the end
Thursday, September 07, 2006 ; 9:42 PM
just came back from retail therapy. :D
i swear shopping is good. it keeps you away from all your troubles, plus it helps to burn those fats after dinner. :D hahaha. now denise is feeling much more relaxed. but once in awhile, i still feel like crying too. and the worst part is that my parents are around, so ive to hold those tears back. yeah.
anyway we were supposed to go over to marina square cos theres the miss selfridge (unsure of the spelling) shop there. but becos dear daddy made a wrong turn, we ended up shopping in suntec city instead. lol i dont really enjoy shopping there. i mean, whats there to shop there ? okay, apart from dorothy perkins and topshop, no others appeal to me.
and guess what ? i bought a top/dress from topshop. cost me fifty three bucks. pretty worth it, i would say. :D compared to the dorothy perkins dress which i wanted too, but that costs like a hundred. so fifty three is like, half the price ! worth it. its really nice to pamper yourself with clothings. nothing else makes a girl happier. and that statement made me think of him again. oh dear denise, you have to stop this shit. seriously.
lets describe my top/dress ! :D okay, its black, as usual. i love black. its classy, elegant. and totally me. so, anyway its a tube kind. which flares out. and the top has a 'ribbon' well, sort of. it doesnt really look like a ribbon. but, blah, whatever. hahaha. ermm, its until about slightly above my knees. so i thought i could use it as a dress instead. although its meant to be a long top, matched with pants or jeans or something.
problem is, its tube kind. and my arms are big. yikes. after my olevels, either id go back to swimming and let those fats turn into muscles, or id just lose the fats. either way. am not really keen on going on a strict diet. all the delicacies in this world is way too tempting. plus, i would rather enjoy than have a hot body. yeah. hahaha. many girls think otherwise though. but, ohwells. its a personal thing. :D
its ten o'clock. im gonna turn in earlier tonight. at least it wont allow me to think too much, i think. lol but am probably just gonna watch an episode of the forensic show and then off to bed ! no phone calls tonight. :D going to melodys place tomorrow. gonna study with her. i need to focus on my olevels. yes yes. its time to start studying. hmm maybe its a blessing in disguise that he dumped me. then id have more time for my studies. ahh, another message. im gonna die from replying.
* oh yeah. forgot to include. I BOUGHT THE PEPPERMINT SWEET FROM TOPSHOP TOO ! :D yay its the sugar free one which jaimeepoks introduced to me half-way through lesson, at the back of the class. hahahhaa. gina chan is gonna kill us when she sees this ! aye prefect, i told you to be corrupted lah. hahahaha. okay see ya !
; 4:36 PM
although im still feeling really hurt now, am really comforted after i visited my own blog, to find those tags from various people. and not to forget, all the smses received as well. just to gimme that support i need and i doubt there is anything more i could ask from a friend. a big thank you to ..
1. colin "daijoubu" (which means dont worry) is what you often tell me. hahaha. you know, youre a really nice friend. am glad i gotta know you through sis (eunice). :D am really glad youre one guy whom i can bitch with. like how many guys can actually bitch with girls man ? then all the criticisms and stuff. its really funny and some times to the extend where i laugh so hard that my tummy hurts. and id try to take up japanese classes with you after the olevels. hahaha. the we can go daijoubu-ing. LOL. but yeah, thanks pal !
2. ervin although you wont get to see this, thanks alot for "teaching" me. telling me all the different possiblities. explaining it time and again when i dont understand. and also for being there for me even late in the night, like until 3am, despite the fact that you still have work the next day. i must say youve really matured a hell load since the last time we contacted. hahaha. but hey, im matured too okay. yeah, thanks for being there for me my friend ! :D
3. tina hey girl, thanks for all the advices youve given me. and the time you fork out to listen to my thoughts and feelings. never told you this before, but i really do admire you in some ways. you can last so long in a relationship cos you really know how to deal with trouble when it arrives. and its really amazing how you can do so. :D all the best to you and charles !
4. enggie bestie ! (okay sheril is gonna kill me when she sees this. haha) youre always there for me. no doubt. hahaha. and whenever you suspect im not feeling too good or am down, you would always ask me on msn to make sure that im okay. and id like to let you know that these little questions are very much appreciated. :D thanks !
5. melody prof ong has lived by her theories. hahaha. no lah, im kidding. well youre one girl who has a pretty different view from all my other friends. and somehow, even though the both of us are really different in terms of personalities, we can get along well and i must say youre a really trustworthy friend. :D one whom i know i can rely one without a doubt. yepps. you rock girl !
6. jacinth aye liangteh. :D lol come to think about it, we wouldnt have gotten closer if we werent placed to sit beside each other in class yeah. and all the bitching we do in class, it keeps me awake man. hahaha honestly. otherwise id probably be sleeping in laoshis class or something. and its easy talking to you. i dont have fears about my secrets getting leaked out. (or so i think ! haha) yeah thanks.
7. shanice hey lim lalalalala ! youre one effervescent kidd. and its fun chatting with you. yeah. :D thanks for helping me out the other day. alas, i got my answer. yeah.
8. yuwei youre a big bully who makes me laugh. o.o thats all i can say ! haha. but well, thanks for your concern.
9. ruby didi ! hahaha. we havent spoken for a very long time indeed. am grateful that you bothered to ask me how i am when you read my msn nickname. yeah. :D
10. daniel thanks little brother. thanks for helping me keep some secrets. thanks for being that listening ear. thanks for not telling mommy i chat on the phone past midnight (lol). thanks for feeling for me, especially when im upset. when i start crying, you know exactly what to do. im thankful. love you little one !
well the list goes on. thanks.
and a song which colin sent earlier on. had this song a couple of years back, but listening to it again gives me a different feeling altogether.
We were strangers starting out on our journey Never dreaming what we'd have to go through Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing At the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you Unexpected what you did to my heart When I lost hope you were there to remind me This is the start
And Life is a road and I want to keep going Love is a river I want to keep flowing Life is a road now and forever A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning I'll be there when the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true Now here we stand unafraid of the future At the beginning with you
And Life is a road and I want to keep going Love is a river I want to keep flowing Life is a road now and forever A Wonderful journey
I knew there was somebody somewhere Like me alone in the dark I know that my dream will live on I've been waiting so long Nothing's gonna tear us apart
And Life is a road and I want to keep going Love is a river I want to keep flowing Life is a road now and forever A Wonderful journey
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you
indeed no one told me I was going to find you and it was unexpected what you did to my heart. and in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you. its all over now.
i love you.
; 2:52 PM
as i stood in front of the shower, you came into my mind and then i began to cry. what kinda fool am i ?
stop crying denise, stop. you need to put a stop to it. pick yourself up. move on.
; 8:56 AM
my greatest fear has been confirmed. he initiated the break up. yeah he dumped me. lol never really knew how it felt like, getting ditched. so am glad i finally knew how it really is like today. like i always tell people. there are two sides of the coin. either i take it positively, or negatively. denise will choose to look at it positively. but first, i need to blog all the unhappy things out. yeah. its better not to keep it inside. least i commit suicide or something. haha. no, im kidding.
denise isnt that weak. she will stay strong, even when it all goes wrong.
hmms i dont know where to start off, my mind is practically, i dont know. its so filled with many thoughts. still, i will blog it all out to release everything. just let it go, like whoosh !
when he messaged me last night with a "you asleep yet ? got something i wish to talk to you about" i roughly knew what he wanted to say. in fact, i saw it coming a couple of days ago. though having prepared myself for the worst, i still cried before he even told me, when he told me and after he told me. LOL.
then he asked "you have any idea why i didnt talk to you this few days and stuff ?" lol it only made me even more confident that my predictions were right.
someone asked me beforehand "if thats the case, why dont you dump him even before he dumps you ? being ditched sucks" (am certain some of you would be wondering about that too) well, in a relationship which isnt perfect, someone would be hurt. i would rather allow myself to be hurt, than to have him hurt. (no one likes getting ditched) and in addition, i really couldnt bring myself to do sucha thing. its nearly impossible for me. i really didnt want the break up. and to be honest, half of me was hoping that we could trash it out and try to salvage the relationship.
but then again, if we arent fated together, there isnt much of a point holding on. it probably makes you feel even more bitter inside. so nevermind.
its pretty interesting aye ? you expected it, yet it still hits you so hard.
what hurt me even more was when he couldnt come clean with me. until now, i have no idea why he broke up with me.
problem with some guys is that they would pick the easy way out. with the excuse of "the fault lies with me. there are many better guys out there. im sorry" they just use it to get out of the relationship. and thats exactly what that happened between us.
but frankly speaking, i must admit i am guilty of doing that myself. haha. now that i know how it feels, i swear i wont use that excuse ever again. instead, if i get involved with someone else and things dont work out, i would tell him why i really wanted to break off. that way, he wouldnt feel as though he was treated like a fool. that way, it might hit him harder, leading him to fall faster and picking himself up better as well.
and on top of that, he told me he was still loving me until this point in time. hahahaha. please dont make me laugh. if you really loved me, you wouldnt have broken up with me. instead you would probably try and work things out with me and make the relationship work out. i believe determination is the key to success. even if the relationship wasnt perfect to start off with, you can still make the best out of it. and i believe that it would work out, some day.
actually, i was more or less able to settle down with you. i really wanted to even get married with you. that is, if you even propose to me. haha. like the majority of the female race, i still feel that it should be the guy who proposes. a small group of girls probably think otherwise though.
dont tell me being with you would cause me to suffer. thats absurd. you know, all i really needed was your love. that was all. i could and would give up everything else just for you. including the mixing around with other guys part which wasnt too pleasing in your sight. and, i guess its normal for one to feel jealous when his/her loved one is constantly chatting or playing around with people of the opposite sex.
then again, the question of "do you really love me ?" pops out. if you loved me, you wouldnt have broken up with me. but if you didnt love me, you wouldnt have felt jealous.
i really dont know. am pretty puzzled myself. ive said it before. love does wonders. to us all.
its been nearly an hour since i blogged. woke up at around 7.45am today. started blogging at 8.15am. had a really sleepless night yesterday. believe it or not, i only managed to sleep around 4.15am. thats three and a half hours of rest. well done.
okay i shall end here. will put a stop to the wallowing in self-pity. :D haha. denise will survive no matter how hard things can get. this i promise myself.
oh yes, i forgot to add. we are still friends now. i think i can handle it. no fear. :D
the princess
denise childofGod
27october1990
16 going on 17 methodist girls school
temasek polytechnic
( law & management )
scream-outloud@hotmail.com
friendster.com/nomorerock
loves
Y shopping for clothings @ topshop (pretty baggy tops, short skirts, jeans)
for accessories (dangling earrings, chunky necklaces, bangles)
for make-up (glittery black eyeliner, all shades for eyeshadow)
for footwear (one/two/three inch heels, two inch wedges, flats)
for others (nailpolishes, huggable soft toys, yadayadayada)
Y music alternative rock
Y hanging out with my friends
Y partying alcohol is a must
Y tellying romantic dramas
Y mahjong for taitai wannabes
wants
to find my mr. right Y
to get into NUS/SMU to be a rich lady to lose some weight to buy more clothings to buy more accessories to buy more make-up to buy more footwear to get a scorpion tattoo to get a little puppy